Friday, April 30, 2010

Day 110 - Can You Fly?

Have you ever dreamed you were flying? I do sometimes, but not nearly as much as I used to when I was a boy. When I was a boy, I use to dream I was flying almost every night. I wasn’t in a plane, and I didn’t fly like Superman. Yes, he was my hero back then. No, I would just stand up and stretch my arms out in front on me grabbing each elbow with the opposite hand. Then I would just start going up. I could make myself go forward and sideways. I had to watch it because I would come close to hitting power lines and trees. I could go fairly high and fairly fast, but nothing like a plane. It’s amazing I remember this. I don’t necessarily remember all the things that I did, but I remember going different places and helping people. Here is the real question. Did it happen, or was it just a dream? OK, hear me out. Our spirit never sleeps. So was I dreaming or traveling in the Spirit. I don’t know. At the time I thought that I was dreaming. Now I’m not so sure. Now, I would love to fly like that in the spirit at night. I’ll ask Papa, maybe I can. That would be awesome.

What brought that question up was watching Avatar again tonight with Bud and Cathy. It was as good tonight as it was the last time I saw it. They came over for dinner. I grilled chicken and made a salad and grilled onions. They brought the potatoes. It was a great meal. Julia would have been proud of me. Speaking of Julia, when I was sitting the table I had everything out when I realized I had set the table for four instead of three. It was just instinct, and I wasn’t even thinking until I realized it. Normally when we had company, I would help her be sitting the table and I just did it like normal. It was bittersweet having to take all the stuff back. I really do miss her so much. The emptiness is still there, but right now there is no pain, just the emptiness. I have a feeling that’s the way it will be most of the time now.

I’ve been thinking about passion today. I thank God that He made me very passionate. For the most part that has been good although it has gotten me in trouble at times. Thank goodness that over the years I have learned to channel that passion into proper areas. I still love football, and can be passionate about it at times, but I have chosen not to allow myself to get to passionate about the games. I’m passionate about me kids and grandkids. I would do anything for them. Sometimes I tend to do too much, so I have allowed the Holy Spirit to guide me, but it hasn’t taken away my passion. I was very passionate for Julia. She was my best friend and my partner. Most of my passion went to her. I would do anything to protect her. I guess that’s why I can’t believe I didn’t see her symptoms more clearly. I don’t blame her or myself. Neither of us realized what was going on with her until it was too late. But it is still hard to believe that she is not here in the house with me.

I thing that most of my passion now is focused on God and His goodness. I want so much to see the Kingdom of Heaven released wherever I go. I have a passion to see His Presence released, people healed, saved and delivered. I have a passion to see His Glory released upon the earth, and I want to be a part of that. My destiny is tied up in this passion. It is very important.

Sometimes circumstances quench our passion. We build up walls to protect ourselves from hurt or anguish. These walls do the job, but they do much more. They block our emotions and cool our passion. We need emotions. We need to feel joy, laughter even pain and yes grief. I have to be careful not to allow any wall to build up. I have to continually put my trust in Jesus, Papa and Holy Spirit to know what I can handle and how to deal with it. It’s when I don’t trust them that I start taking things into my on hands. That is when walls are built up. Then it takes a release of trust to tear them down. I don’t think I have any walls, and I certainly don’t want any.

Well It’s getting late. We have healing prayer training tomorrow morning and I’m not sure what I am going to speak on. Then we have BSSM graduation tomorrow at 5PM. I do have my talk ready fot that one, although I still have a little work to do. My main focus early in the morning will be to se what I’m talking on tomorrow. I trust that Holy Spirit will give me a topic. After tomorrow I will be a first year graduate of BSSM. Unbelievable!

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