This afternoon I met with a friend who lost his wife not long ago. He wanted to talk and share. Basically I think that he needed to have someone who understood where he was, agree with him. Or at lest give him some prospective on what I thought. It was a good time of sharing about God and His goodness. This guy has very similar views of God, and he really needed to talk with someone who agreed with him.
You see, there really aren’t that many of us in the church, especially in the south that believe as passionately about the goodness of God as we do. He was wondering if something was wrong with him because he was beginning not to grieve as much, and yet those in his “grief counseling” class have been grieving for years. I shared my situation and how I felt God gave me joy even in the midst of grief. I shared that I was healed by the release of joy, even in the midst of grief. I could see that he was still questioning himself and trying to figure out what went “wrong” in her healing. I know the questions that go through your mind. Questions like, did I pray enough? Was there some sin in my life or her life that kept her from receiving? There could be thousands of questions if you give them space to form and entertain them. But what good do the questions do? They can’t bring her back. All they can do is to answer whys that we weren’t intended to answer. Things reserved for heaven.
I didn’t go to any grief counseling sessions. I don’t necessarily think that they are bad, it’s just that Holy Spirit said He wanted to be my grief counselor. That has to be far greater than any support group out there. He bypassed some of the stages of grief, but are there really seven stages? Or is it five? Or three? I don’t know, I didn’t count them. All I know is that I was so connected to the Father that there was nothing that I couldn’t handle with the ease of a pen. It’s Holy Spirit that expands your heart so that you can love again when you never thought that you would be able to. He did that for Sheryl and me. He gave me such a deep capacity to love her and yet to not dampen my love for Julia.
I told my friend that he would love again, and that his capacity to love would be so much greater than he has ever imagined. I think the fact that I had remarried and found life again was the most encouraging thing that he got out of our talk. It was good to see a man who believes in the goodness of God. It’s good to see someone who goes after healing and presses in of more of the Holy Spirit, even when he doesn’t understand. Yes, today I met a fellow journeyman in the middle of life’s most tragic event, and I was blessed to see his response. It’s good to know that others exist out there. I know that there are others in my stream of the Kingdom, but to fine others in different streams is really encouraging. The Lord is doing a work, and it is beginning to transcend denominational and traditional lines. Today was a good day.