Day 195 - Momentos

It’s amazing how fragile life is. Memories, what do they mean and what do they give us. I love my memories of Julia, but when I think of my memories of being a child, or even in High School, they are good, but they don’t bring everlasting joy or anything like that. They are just memories. Yes, they are good, but they are not something that can sustain me. I was in the basement tonight looking for something and I found Julia’s old jewelry box. It was a big 6-drawer box. I think that I got it in the Philippines for her in the 70’s. I didn’t know that she still had it. I figured she had given it away. Anyway, I started looking through the drawers to see if she had left anything in them.

To my surprise, there were some things. I found her high school ring. My younger sister took mine and lost it. I also lost my college ring. I’ve thought about getting it replaced, but decided not to do it. I also found Julia’s Camp Fire Girl pins and some of her attendance pins for Sunday school. I have to take back all that I have said for years about her not being at church. I also found some of the Olympic pins that we acquired during the ’96 Olympics in Atlanta. There were a few other earrings and a broach that I had given her a long time ago.

But the thing that affected me the most was the smell. The whole Jewelry Box smelled like Julia used to smell. The last few years, she had for the most part stopped wearing perfume. But that box smelled like I remembered her. The smell brought back more memories of her than the things that were in the box. I will keep the box. I’m sure that one of the granddaughters will want it eventually. It is still in great shape. It is amazing how certain smells can trigger such memories. The memories are strong, but not specific.

So, I found some of Julia’s mementos today. It’s funny how we save things. I’m sure that when I am gone, the girls will wonder why I saved this or that. We save things that really have no meaning to anyone else, but do have meaning to us. It really didn’t make me feel bad. In fact it was like she had given me a surprise: something to discover 6 months later. I think that love her even more now that I did before. Im sure that’s not true, but it’s how I feel.

I hesitate to write this because all of my “moms” will probably getup in arms, but I am excited about it, so here goes. Remember sisterhood, I still have a veto. I have registered for lessons to learn how to ride a motorcycle. I’m going up to the Cartersville Harley Davidson dealership at the ene of August for a three day course. It’s something I have always wanted to do, but my mom wouldn’t let me as a kid, and then after I was married, Julia didn’t want me to. I honored her wishes just likd I honored my mom’s wishes. Now I will honor my wishes and take the class. Of course the big question will be “ Are you getting a motorcycle?” Right now my answer is “I don’t know.” All I know is that I want to learn to ride, and that is what I am doing. Whatever eles comes down the road later, we will deal with when it comes.

I’m going to Bethel Atlanta tomorrow. I’m looking forward to seeing everyone down there. I need to go to stay connected. It will be fun, but I will miss being at the “Stone.”