Well, here I am in Mobile at Lisa’s house. The drive down was uneventful and only four and a half hours from Peachtree City. I spent the night with Dad last night after class. I went to Starbucks to post my blog, but I only had ten minutes before they closed. That’s why the blog was so short. Tonight I want to catch up, so it might be a little longer than usual. Yesterday was really sort of a blur. Work was good, even though it came very early. But I had to drive home, pack and then go have my follow up visit after having my wisdom tooth out. After that I cam home, finished packing and drove down to Peachtree City. I saw Dad for about a half an hour before leaving for a meeting, and then school. Some days I think I’m too busy. The only worship and quiet time I got yesterday was while I was driving. But I did have a lot of reflecting to do during that time. I was on the road a lot yesterday and today.
It’s amazing how a little quote from a children’s book can have such an impact. Last night at school, we were in our AMT (Advanced Ministry Training). I’m in a prophetic art class. I wanted to be stretched and since I have NO artistic talent I figured this would definitely stretch me. We had been listening to a song (not a Christian song) to see how God would speak to us in it. After that we were just talking and someone brought up the quote from Dr Seuss. Now I haven’t been focusing on loss, or spending a lot of time crying. Although, when the “fog” rolls in on me I do have a deep sense of loss, and definitely cry from time to time. But making a conscience effort to smile and be thankful for those wonderful 38+ years, now that’s something I can embrace. In many ways I have been doing that. I think this blog is an attempt at that. But to make the decision to keep my focus on what I had, and not what I lost. Now that to me is revolutionary. So yes, I have lost a great deal, and I will truly miss Julia’s physical presence next to me. But to think of what I had. No, I must think of what I have, because I still have her memories, and more. That can keep me going. I have already written that I can sense what she would do and say in almost every situation. We are so close, she doesn’t have to be here physically.
I was listening to a teaching by Randall Worley when he was with us at BSSM. If you don’t know him, I would have to say he is one of the best teachers I have ever heard. He was talking about Heaven, and the fact that it is not in some faraway place, but it is just in a different dimension or perspective. For example if there is a Hawks basketball game at Phillips arena, what is different about the players and the fans. Obviously, the players are playing, and the fans are watching. But there is a bigger difference. The players are playing on a horizontal field. Their view of each other is in the horizontal plane. The fans, on the other hand are looking from a vertical perspective. They can see more because they are looking from a different perspective. We here in this world are like the players, we don’t see everything because we have things blocking our view. Those in Heaven can see everything play out because they are looking form a different perspective. So, Julia is in Heaven, but close by, watching from a different perspective, cheering and interceding for us all.
I know I’m getting pretty far out now, but if you begin to study quantum physics, it won’t seem so farfetched. I sometimes feel that there is a thin membrane between earth and Heaven. The Angels move in and out of it. We need to learn how to press into the more that Heaven offers, and not be willing to be satisfied with “normal” any longer. So I smile, knowing that Julia is not really very far away. I smile also knowing that I am learning to press into the Holy Spirit more and more. As much as I love Julia, I would rather have more of the Holy Spirit. This is part of the plundering of the enemy’s house. He didn’t realize that her loss would drive me right into the arms of a God who is so good that He will never leave me. I know that the anointing and destiny that I have on my life is significantly greater now tha it was a month ago. I also know that this is just the beginning.
I got to Mobile around lunch time. It was great to see Lisa, Anna and Julia. Granddaughters are God’s gift to Grandfathers. I had so much fun playing with Anna today, and Julia is so sweet. She is growing up so fast already. I do wish that Julia was here physically with me. Anna loved her so much. Julia loved to sew, and she was always making something for the granddaughters. I certainly can’t sew, so I guess I will take them shopping sometime this week. We went to the park and to Starbucks. Anna knows exactly what she wants. She will run up to the counter, pick up an organic apple juice, and put it on the counter, while she looks up smiling at me. Who could resist those eyes? It is certainly not me. It’s good to be with Lisa. I hope that we will be able to spend some time talking this week. I’ll stay here until Sunday morning and then drive back north. One other blessing about being down here is it’s warmer. I actually was aboe to run outside today. I think that ie was the first time in three weeks. It felt good, and I’m looking forward to it tomorrow. I guess that’s all for tonight. I think I’ll watch a little of the Olympics and then get some sleep.
You said it perfectly when you said that you would rather have more of the Holy Spirit. Our pastor's wife, who is also a mentor, lost her Dad about 9 years ago. It was a sudden death. Shortly after he died, we moved in with them for a short time. She told me that she would cry all of the time because of missing her Dad. One day the Lord told her, "Angie, do you want to see Me as much as you want to see your dad, again?" That really impacted me and those exact words came to mind when we lost my father-in-law. As much as I want to see Chuck, I want to see Jesus MORE! :-D
ReplyDeleteTom, once again, Thank you for this post. I learn and am encouraged in the things that the Lord is at work doing.
ReplyDeleteI want to agree with you on one point... about the anointing on your life:
(I shared this with Brent after going to the service for Julia)
I told him that I felt that most Men could not get up and speak like you did, but it was not just that... it was that what you said was anointed, clear, and powerful. I was taken back by the spirit among us at the service. I told Brent that I felt that Julia's passing had some how made you stronger. This boggled my mind. I used an example of a sling shot and told him that I saw and felt that you were being flung or propelled by her passing and that you were even more anointed when you spoke / preached that day.