Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Day 23 - A Revelation of Change

Well, I had my right lower wisdom tooth cut out this morning. I had to be there at 7:45, and I was done by 8:30. I think they gave me every drug they could. It started of with laughing gas (I didn’t laugh). Then I had an IV for the heavy drugs. As I was lying there I was praying for a safe successful surgery with no nerve damage. They had me hooked up to a heart monitor, blood gas monitor and a blood pressure monitor. I couldn’t help but think of Julia hooked up to all these monitors and more. I was totally relaxed, and I selfishly for a minute wished that I would just go to sleep and wake up with her. That feeling was peaceful, and I was really thinking how great that would be. But then I thought of my girls and granddaughters. I knew that would be way too much for them to take. I needed to stay here for them. I also needed to stay and reach the destiny that God has for my life. So I released that thought as I drifted off for the procedure. I did realize something though. I am a dangerous man in the Kingdom of God. I’m dangerous because I realize that His purpose in bringing love and the Kingdom to my family and to those around me. This is the reason I am alive. I could leave this world tomorrow, and be home with Julia. That would be awesome. Or I can stay and see the presence of God released through me and that is awesome. Either way is good. The only negative is If I stayed and didn’t go after God with all my heart. Many people, many believers don’t know this. They are still chained to this world. Right now I am about releasing chain, and it first begins with me. So you see, I am dangerous, and getting more dangerous day-by-day, revelation by revelation.

So I learned a lot today while I was getting my tooth out. Many prayers have been answered. There appears to be no nerve damage. The pain has been minimal, although they say it might increase. I’m still praying for minimal swelling> I should know about that sometime tomorrow. John and Biddie were great nurses, and I stayed at their house until about 5PM. I’ve been home since then. I had a great email from a friend who lost her husband some time ago. She talked about building retaining walls to replace what the enemy had been stolen. It is a slow process. The first thing I have to learn, and I believe I am learning is to know with out a doubt that my God, Papa, Jesus and Holy Spirit are more than able to take Julia’s place in my life as friend, consoler and even lover. I know this in my mind; know I am learning it slowly by experience. I am trying to become more in love with Him every minute. Sometimes it is easy, but many times it’s not. It’s a journey. It’s really a journey we should all be on. So, I’ve been on this journey for many years, but when Julia died, she wasn’t the only one who passed through a gate. She passed from earth to Heaven. I passed into a different level in my journey toward God. It’s new, it’s change, the good news is I have always embraced change. So I choose to embrace this. My prayer is for God to use me as never before, and let me know Him as never before.


  1. Tom, we are praying for you over here in India - we love you and are so blessed to know you - holding on to Jesus makes all the difference but I know it is a hard road - it's nice to be with the family of God on this journey together - we are very sorry for all the pain and value you guys so much - many of our friends are at Riverstone now and deeply care about you too!
    Ellen and Rick Coffin
    Psalm 103:1-5

  2. You are extremely dangerous! That's what I really like about you. Great things are ahead!