The fire is nice tonight. I’ve been gone since around 11:30 this morning. I went first to work, and then to school. So here it is after 11PM. I’m in my usual place to write. I’m in the rocking chair by the fire with my laptop in my lap. I’m listening to Heaven came down. It helps me to concentrate on writing. It’s still different, coming into a dark cold house. Most nights when I was coming home late Julia would be laying on the couch, She might be reading or watching TV, but basically she was waiting for me. She was always interested in how my day went. I can remember many times her getting frustrated with me because I didn’t really feel like talking. I was just tired and wanted to go to sleep. I wish she were here tonight. I would love to spend time telling her about my day. I would tell her about my students and how good they did. That it was an easy day in the simulator because they were so prepared. I would tell her about talking with Jennifer and Lisa, finding out about their days, and how the kids were doing. I would ask her if she had talked to them, and then compare notes if she had. I would tell her how school was tonight. We had our mission trip meeting. We leave in two weeks for Nicaragua. I would tell her that I have to be prepared to preach, and I need to get some sermons ready. She would remind me that I am always ready to preach, and that I never spend a lot of time in preparation and how it flows better that way. She would ask me if I was hungry, and tell me where the leftovers were if I wanted anything to eat. I would ask her about her day, and she would tell me all that she had done. She would have walked in the neighborhood if the weather was nice, or on the treadmill if it were cold or rainy. She was probably making a dress for one of the grandkids, so she would tell me about that. If I didn’t have to work tomorrow and she wasn’t to tired, we would probably watch some TV together until we both got tired. She new that I have to unwind before I can go to bed, and she would stay up with me, although nine times out of ten she would fall asleep before the show ended.
I really miss her tonight. I’m not sad, just a missing of her presence here beside me. I miss her smile. I’m off tomorrow. I have school tomorrow night, but I will be here in the morning. I enjoyed the days I was off with no meetings because we could have our morning quiet time together. For the past three years we have been reading out of a Smith Wigglesworth devotional. We were also reading out of Bill Johnson’s “A life of Miracles”. I would read one out loud, and she would read the other one. Then we would spend time praying together. These could be powerful times of prayer. I wish now that we had had more days like these. My work and morning meetings kept us apart many mornings.
Tonight has been fun. Writing this has almost made me feel like she is right here with me. Her love for me was so strong. I can feel it even now. I know that she sees me, and knows how much I love her. I’ve heard that love transcends time and space. I know that the love of God does, now I also know that it is possible to have a love for another person that does too.
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