Today was much like any other day for me. I had to work a “C” period. That meant that I couldn’t plan any dinner or any other Valentine’s Day Activities. I did talk to my girls, and they got the cards. I’m glad of that because I was afraid that I had mailed them too late. Then John and Biddie came over around 9 PM and we sat and talked for an hour. But overall, as a special day it didn’t measure up.
I did read my blog from Valentine’s Day last year. As I read it I could just feel how much healing has taken place in my heart. Last year, the house had been decorated for Valentine’s before Julia got sick. So I had to take all the decorations down after the holiday. Well, this year there really were no decorations. But that didn’t matter. What got me about the difference in last year and this year was my focus. Last year I was focused on my loss. This year I am focused on the future.
Last year, I wrote to Julia about my love and how much I missed her. This year I can almost hear her talking to me. She is telling me to go for it all. She wants me to run harder both spiritually and physically than I ever have. She doesn’t want me to be lonely, whatever that means. I can almost see her smiling as I share my dreams. In many ways she is a bigger cheerleader for me now that she was when she was with me. The funny thing is I now know that I am capable of love. I didn’t know how big my heart was last year. I didn’t know that even though my love for her will always continue, that my heart is expanding and is able to love even more.
So what does that mean? I’m not sure, but I want everything that God has for the family and me. I don’t want to miss anything that He has for me. At the same time, I don’t want to push anything that is not of Him. So, right now, I am an open book, waiting for Holy Spirit to direct my path. I do know that in many ways I am more energized than I have ever been. This is the best time to be alive. The old saying “For such a time as this” is really true. Sure, everything is in flux. But one of my greatest strengths is adaptability. So, bring it on. It’s going to be a fun two weeks.
I’m off tomorrow and Wednesday but I have to get a bunch of stuff done for taxes and other areas. Once the conference starts on Thursday, I will be running constantly until March 5th. So the whirlwind is about to start. I hope that I can get what needs to be done complete in the next two days. I also hope that I can run and ride my Harley.
So I will close with this; if anyone is still reading this, Happy Valentine’s Day? Don’t take for granted all that God has given you. Cherish every minute and learn to love even more deeply. God is truly love, and we represent Him most when we share our love with others. That’s really what Valentine’s Day is all about.