I’m sitting here by the fire in my rocking chair tonight listening once again to Judy Collins. She is singing “I’ve looked at life from both sides now, and I really don’t know life at all”. As I sit here realizing that this time two years ago, I would have never imagined being here in this house by myself. I think there are more sides of life to look at than just two. Life is like the face of a finely cut diamond. It’s multifaceted. Just when you think you have it figured out you catch your reflection in another facet. I’ll probably get spiritual in a minute, but just look at your life without analyzing spiritual significance.
If you are like me, there are just so many categories. There is your life at work; your life at home with your family; your life with your friends; your life the way you wish it could be in your dreams. You are multifaceted if you are doing well, fractured if you are having multiple problems. Each area impacts each other area. No matter how you try, you can’t keep them separated. There is too much overlap. So you wind up blending some of them together and that is where the problems start; especially if you try to have different values with different areas.
That’s why you need a true north, something to guide you. Some people have core values to try and guide them, but they can get blurred moving between facets. Personally, I couldn’t do it now without my belief and worship of God. It’s Jesus, Papa and Holy Spirit that guide me through every situation. It doesn’t matter how many facets there are to my life. If I focus on them and not on my life, then I am true and steady no matter what I am doing. I can’t imagine someone trying to go through a storm or even a great time without knowing God in a personal and intimate relationship. It matters not if you are religious. In fact it’s better if you are not religious. What matters is that you have a love relationship with the bridegroom. After all, we are the “bride of Christ.” We are supposed to be intimate.
So tonight as I reflect back on the past ears, I really do look at “both sides now.” You might think that I would be just dying to want to go back; to go back to a happier time with Julia. Sure, I miss her and I still love her, but, and I can’t believe I’m even writing this, I’m not wanting to go back. Not now. I am committed to move forward. I know that God is good. He has good, no great, things in store for me. To want to go back would be to discount His goodness. To want to go back would be turning away from destiny. No, this truly is a new season, and there is only one way to move, and it’s not backward.
Too many people get so caught up in what they have lost, they can’t see what they have. I have to move forward. I know that this is what Julia wants for me, and she is cheering me on. I loved our life together, I loved everything we did and the time we had. But now I love the adventure of what Papa has in store for me as I begin to unwrap the presents He has for me as I move into His future and His destiny. This is big; as I’m writing this I can even feel a shift taking place. Yes, I’ve acknowledged the loss before and the need to move on in my destiny, but I don’t think I have ever acknowledged that I must completely move forward and as much as I love her, that season of my life is over. A new chapter in the book of my life is just beginning.