This time last year I was just going to bed after staying up with Julia at home to celebrate the New Year. How was I to know that it would be our last celebration together? 2010 looked so rosy. We were moving into the New Year and getting ready to leave for Webb and the Bill Johnson conference. It was a fun evening just hanging out together thinking about the past and dreaming together about the future. She was fighting a cold. She had been fighting it before we ever started traveling for Christmas. It had gotten better and then gotten worse. Right now it seemed to be getting better.
She didn’t think it was bad enough to keep us from going to the conference. At least she didn’t tell me it was that bad. I would like to think that I would have stayed home if she had complained worse. I’m sure that I would have, but she didn’t complain. She wanted to go to the conference as well. We had been looking forward to it. So last year, we toasted in the New Year, kissed and then went to bed. Life is so fleeting here on this earth. I know that tonight she is probably watching and cheering us on. I know that she wants us to press into all that God has for us. I know that she loves Jennifer and Lisa. She is crazy about Adair, Meleah and Anna. I bet she just adores Julia.
I so wish that she were here with us tonight. It’s been a good two weeks here in Hilton Head. First all the time with the kids and then these last few days with John and Biddie. All week long as we rode bikes, I would look around half expecting to see her, yet realizing that she was not there. There is still a big hole in my heart. Most of the time it’s covered up. I know that it is healing and smaller than it was, but it’s still there. I can feel the pain in it right now. Just the not having her to kiss, to wish Happy New Year, to dream with about the new year. That opens the wound. In some ways, no in many ways this is harder tonight than Christmas Eve. Maybe it’s because my family and the grandkids were here then, or maybe it’s because New Year’s Eve was usually just our time together.
We very rarely were out with anyone. We normally liked to just stay home and watch a movie, stay up and toast the New Year. So, tonight without her does hurt. But it will be all right. I will be great! I am feeling better even as I write. 2011 has so much promise. I am looking forward to it with great anticipation. 11 means change, and I think that 2011 will bring many changes in my life. Some will have to do with ministry; others will be personal. I have no idea as to what they all will be, but I am looking forward to seeing what all will transpire. I have many prophetic words and promises that have yet to come to pass, and I a believing for those promises, for myself and my family. I also know that I am coming into a new season. It started really lst March, but has increased since my trip to Australia. This will be a year of entering in. I can’t wait to see all that Papa is going to do.
Well, it’s back home tomorrow morning. It will be good to get back, but work starts on Sunday Afternoon. Then school starts Monday Night. It’s going to get very busy again. It’s been a great break, now to focus for the second half of the year. So, to all of you who are still with me in this journey; Happy 2011. My the Lord bless you this year. Thanks for all your prayers and support in 2010.
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