Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Day 359 - What's My Calling?

I can’t help but think of where we were this time last year. It seems like right now, I find myself thinking at least two or three times a day about where we were and what we were doing together last year. I guess that’s normal as we approach January 8th. I do knows that last year, we were in Webb AL at the evening service with Bill Johnson. I could tell that Julia wasn’t feeling well, she stepped outside a couple of times when she had a coughing spell. I had asked her in the afternoon if she wanted to go home, but she said no. However I had already decided that we would leave the next day and not stay for the completion of the conference. As I look back, I don’t feel guilty but I do wish that I had taken her cough more seriously. However, I know her, and she was always reluctant to go to a doctor. The only reason she went to one on the 6th was she wanted to make sure that she was well enough to go to Lisa’s the next week for the birth of her baby (Julia Anne).

As I sit here tonight, I am praying and thinking about my dad. He has been sick for a few months now, and he doesn’t to be getting any better. In some ways he is fine, but he can’t sleep and has a hard time eating. He is getting weaker and losing weight. At 86, he can’t afford to lose much strength or weight. So his condition is on my heart as I walk through this week thinking about Julia. But God is so good, and He can take the extra weight. My prayers go out to Allene especially. Most of the burden of his illness has fallen on her.

Right now, the best thing that I can do this week is to keep my focus on God, press into His presence as much as possible. Then I am keeping as busy as I can. This Friday I’m going to Athens to minister on the prophetic team for a Steve Thompson conference at Wesleyan Foundation. It should keep me very busy and focused on the presence of God. It will be an exciting time. Then I will come home on Saturday afternoon. A few friends are coming over on Saturday evening and we will celebrate Julia’s life together. This year is fast coming to a close, and I am excited about the rest of 2011. Bob Jones said that we are moving into the year of the Lion. I know that God has good things in store for me this year.

We had Sherri Lewis speak tonight at BASSM. Sherri graduated from second year last year. She moved to Cameroon and started a School of Supernatural Ministry there. She told us about her journey and challenged us to seek God even harder about our destiny. Many areas in my life are coming into greater focus. If there is ever going to be real change, then the time is approaching this year. I can sense many decisions coming down the pike, and I want to truly be connected to make the proper ones. These decisions will impact my life for many wears to come. Some of these decisions are clear, while others are just in the formative stage. I am asking for more of His wisdom as I seek the path to my destiny.

So, I will make it through this week. I really am doing very well. It’s just a matter of keeping my head high and focusing on His goodness as I press through these memories that aren’t so good. As I press through, I choose to focus on the good memories. I am asking Papa for some good stories about Julia to write about in the next few days; something that will bless her granddaughters when they read this in the coming years. I don’t know how many days I will do this, but I know it will be one of the next two nights.

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