As I look back at this time last year, I can think of all the promise, all the hope that I had. But then, less than a week later, there seemed to be nothing but grief and despair. Yet as I have already said, there were many good things in 2010 beginning with Julia Anne’s birth the morning of the 12th. Still, I find myself almost afraid to hope. Why is that? I know the goodness of God and His love for me. I have faith in His keeping hand. So why is it that tonight I find it hard to hope? I haven’t found it hard all year, so why now? Holy Spirit, please reveal it to me right now. I don’t want to stop writing this post feeling that way. There must be a lie that I am believing. What is it?
This is the lie: If I dare to hope and declare what will be this year, I will not see it, something will happen that will keep it from happening. The ultimate lie is that the enemy is stronger than God, and that I am left vulnerable. That’s it. That’s why it is coming up now. Last year we made declarations that didn’t happen. We were blindsided. I truly believe that if Julia’s sickness and death hadn’t happened so quickly, it wouldn’t have happened. But that’s in the past. I am focused on now 2011. So, I renounce the lie that Papa is not strong enough to protect my family and me. I embrace the truth that He is bigger than I think, and He wants to protect us and He will protect us. So, now that that is done, what is 2011 going to bring.
I know that it is going to bring renewed life, and a great piece as I begin to walk out my destiny. There are already new doors opening, and I am sensing that these doors are just the beginning. I am breaking free and it’s like there is an open heaven. I want to be careful what I wish for. I want to go after the best, and not be caught up in the good. There are a number of things pulling on me; all are good. I just need discernment as to what is best. I am declaring a new level of joy for both of my girls and myself. Healing and health are available, we must move into divine health this year. To that end, I started my diet yesterday. My focus is not only on losing weight, but finally being able to maintain the weight loss. That along with an increase in my running should put me back up to where I was in conditioning a year ago. I know that this is one area where I have fallen off this year, and I have to get it back. I think that my busy schedule along with all that happened has taken some of the drive out of my running and conditioning. I need to get that edge back.
I think it was Bill who talked about needing a bigger anchor when you moved into bigger waters. The anchor is the intimacy and time with Papa. This I know needs to increase if I am to do all that I feel He is calling me to do. So I need a greater measure of discipline to be able to schedule times of soaking and just hanging out with Him. This hanging out might look like prayer, bible study, meditation or worship. It will probably be a combination of the three. There is no receipt; it’s just being obedient in the time available.
I’m not worried about ministry, that will come and giftings will be released as they are needed. But I am declaring and asking for favor. Favor first with Him, but also with men. I believe that I am walking in great favor right now, but it is going to increase in areas that I least expect, so I will be on the look out for that as well. 2011 is definitely going to be a year of change and new beginnings. I am excited and I do have the hope that I didn’t have at the beginning of this post. Thank You Papa, You are so good! I work in the morning and then School tomorrow night. I can’t wait.