Friday, March 26, 2010

Day 75 - Oversleep??

I did something this morning that I haven’t done for probably two years. I overslept! My 3AM alarm clock went off, I’m sure of it. However I don’t remember turning it off. Anyway for some reason, thank you Holy Spirit, I woke up and looked at the clock. It was 3:52. Normally I leave the driveway no later than 3:45, so I was definitely late. I jumped up and got a quick shower and shaved. I got dress and was out the door at 4:12. Well my simulator period starts at 5AM, so the race was on. I was praying two prayers. First, that there would be no police along my route and secondly that some how I would make it in time. I live 43 miles from work, so that really didn’t leave me with much hope of making it. I had a number to call in the room where my students would be, so I figured that id it looked like I was going to be very late, I could call them. I really hate getting up like that. It really makes your day start off bad. For some reason it took a long time for the day to seem good. The good news is that I did make it in time, and that I didn’t get a ticket. I walked into the room where my students were at 4:55. The only problem that I had was I was so tense that it took at least two hours to unwind. I was tired all day. A lot more tired than I would normally have been. I came home and was really useless. I blamed it on a lack of coffee, but the real reason was I was mentally exhausted because of the stress. I did get to take a little power nap in the early afternoon.
Later I went to the movies to see Matt Damon in “The Green Zone”. It was a good action flick, and I enjoyed it. It was nonstop action with an OK plot. Overall, we all liked it. I made chili for supper and have enjoyed just staying home and enjoying a nice quiet evening. So here I sit at 10:20 writing my blog, knowing that I really need to go to bed. I have a 5:45 briefing tomorrow morning, so I should be OK. But I’m definitely sitting 2 alarms. This morning I realized that with Julia gone there isn’t anyone to back me up.
Today when I was driving home, I was really missing her. I was missing hearing her voice. Then I had a brilliant thought. Her cell phone was still turned on. I could call her voice mail and hear her speak. So I did. It was fun, and for a moment I realized how much I was forgetting about her, especially her voice. When she spoke, you could tell her mood. You could tell if she was happy or angry just by the way she acted. I remembered helping her set up her voice mail, and how much she hated recording her voice. I remembered encouraging her by telling her it sounded so good. Little did I realize that some day I would be listening to that recording, missing her and knowing that that recording was my only physical link to her. If I wasn’t a believer, and know about the goodness of God, I don’t think I could stand it. As it is, I can just deal with the grief right as it comes and then try to push on into an updraft of the Spirit. I think I’ll close now. First, I don’t want to oversleep tomorrow. Second, I want to spend some time alone just remembering Julia and her love, and just resting in the depths of the love of the Father tonight. I need some comfort, and that’s the best place that I know to get it. Blessings, Good Night.

1 comment:

  1. thank you for doing this we all really enjoy it. I miss you. Love always,
    Mallory P.