I got an email this morning from a friend of ours who read my blog. She said that she felt that all the Valentine decorations were a prophetic declaration of Julia and God’s love for me. That them being up were a symbol of her love, and a symbol of the love that Father God was teaching me about. I thought about that a lot today, and I believe that she is right on. I know of Julia’s love, and although I thought I knew of the Father’s love, I am coming to know it so much deeper.
Last night was very hard, and very good; the pain of missing Julia was replaced by the deep touch of the Father. It’s almost hard to explain. I went to bed and for the first time I had a hard time going to sleep. But that lasted for about five minutes. I focused on Jesus and asked me to take me somewhere. I guess He knew I needed sleep, because before we got where we were going, I was sound asleep. That was good because today was busy, but in a good way. Work was early but easy. I was able to come home and get my run in. I was able to run outside. It wasn’t a great day outside, but better than it has been. I trimmed the roses and bushes in each side of the house, and then I fertilized the roses and blueberry plants along with the pansies. These are things that Julia would have done. She loved to work in the yard. I don’t really like it, but I guess this is a part that I will adapt to. I know that she would be anxious to get some herbs planted, and to check on the ones that had been left over the winter to see if they had survived. I’m just happy that the house plans are surviving. Yes, I did remember to water them before I went on my trip.
This morning when I got home I marinaded some chicken in soy sauce and jalapeno peppers. I grilled two chicken breast, one for tonight and one for later. So I had salad and chicken for supper. The only reason I mention it is that it is probably only the third or fourth time I have cooked at home in over two months. It was fun, and when school is out I am sure I will do more. BASSM didn’t meet this week because of spring break. I really missed class and I know that I am going to miss it over the summer. However it does give me a chance to catch up on my homework.
I really miss my girls. I wish that I could be with them because I know that they need me. I just have to release them to Papa and ask Him to love on them like He loves on me. As I get older I find that the most important thing is teaching and imparting the love of God. Really, isn’t that what the Gospel is. I mean if you boil everything in the Bible down it comes down to this. God is Good and He wants us to love Him so He can release His love to us. Everything we do in the Kingdom is about releasing His love. Why do we make it so complicated? Also as I get older I have learned that we don’t have time for everything everybody wants us to do. We have to seek out what God wants us to do. So how do we do that? Well, I believe we do that by doing what gives us the satisfaction of the King. We know that because He makes it fun, not hard. I am only going to do what I believe glorifies Him, and also is fun for me. He wants me to enjoy His presence. The focus that I need for these next years is easy. What in ministry is fun? Go after that because you will find Him in the midst. It shouldn’t be hard and tiresome. His burden is easy and light. So I have decided to begin to evaluate all that I am doing, and then to focus on what He wants me to do. I will know what He wants me to do because He will allow me the joy of ministering along with him.