Thursday, March 18, 2010

Day 66 - Dealing with Disappointments

How do you deal with disappointments? We all have them in our lives. We don’t get chosen as class president, or don’t make the Cheerleading squad. As we get older, the disappointments normally increase and get more major in our lives. One disappointment here or there is usually easy to work with. But what if you get two or three major disappointments in a row? What if your mother or wife dies and then while trying to cope with that, you get a disappointment in your career. How much can you take? When is the breaking point? I don’t know. I do know that a friend of mine is going through something like that right now. As I have grown older I realize that something’s you can’t help with. You have to watch friends and relatives go through many things that you can’t fix. When my kids were young, I always wanted to fix things. As a dad I thought it was my job. That has probably hurt my kids more than it has helped them. I know that it is totally opposite to what Danny Silk teaches in His book and DVDs on Loving Kids on purpose. I wish that Julia and I had been taught that before we had children. That would have helped our girls and us. Well, like most parents we sort of muddled through. If you know someone who is facing disappointment all you can really do is love them and pray. Pray that God will give him or her wisdom, discernment and the grace to endure and to enjoy. I might have said this before, but I love Grahame Cooke’s definition of Grace. He said the grace of God is the ability to enjoy as well as the ability to endure. You can also pray for another open door, something that has not yet manifested it the open. I am declaring into the spirit open doors and new assignments.
So what I guess I’m saying is that we have to turn it over to God. Especially if there is nothing we can do about it. We can’t allow worry to take over, not even for a minute. There is a quote I heard Bill Johnson give at a talk last September. I have had to hang onto to it, sometimes with two hands these past two months.
“Anytime I have problems that become larger in my consciousness than my awareness of God’s Presence, I have to repent to regain His perspective.”
That is a powerful thought, and really hard to walk out. But when I try to walk it out, it begins to put things in perspective. I remember how much He loves me, and that He will never leave me or forsake me. I begin to understand that I do have Grace from Him. I do have the grace to enjoy and the grace to endure. I can walk through this disappointment into His goodness and things will be OK, no matter how bad they seem right now. The devil just wants us in fear. Fear is the opposite of Faith. We should never make any decision in fear. If we do, it will probably be the wrong one and will keep us away from our destiny longer. I believe if we keep pressing in, we will eventually reach our destiny. Sometimes our decisions delay that destiny.
So how do we deal with disappointments? First we can’t let them overwhelm us with fear. Secondly we have to try and release them to God, believing in His goodness. Third we have to learn to walk at all times in His grace, and seek His wisdom as to how to respond. Fourth, we have to declare His destiny over us and keep looking for open doors. Lastly we can’t let bitterness stay in our hearts when we are disappointed. The fruit of that will only bring destruction. Disappointments are just that, disappointments. We are called to be overcomers. That means we have things we have to overcome. It’s just that sometime life piles up on us so much that it is very hard.
We all need someone to talk to, someone to pray with. Sometimes they don’t need to say anything, just listen. Many times there is really nothing to say, it’s just being there. There is no such thing as a “lone ranger Christian.” We are called to be a body, in relationship. We all need someone to talk to and get things off our mind with, or maybe we all need to write a blog. I know that this is helping me. So I will continue praying, declaring and pressing in for my family and my friends. I know that in Heaven, Julia is ever interceding for us. But here on earth it is my task now. I embrace it with joy.


  1. Great lesson on dealing with disappointments. Thank you!

  2. grea post, Tom! Wow. There were so many points that just struck a chord with me. Thank You!