As I have moved through the day, my thoughts have gone back to last night’s post. Did I talk about this? Did I talk about that? It didn’t take long to realize that I am probably not through exploring this new door that was opened. So tonight I will continue. I really don’t know how long the post will be, because I have no clue as to what I am going to focus on. If you have been with me through the year, you know that this blog is a journey, and like any journey you never know what might be around the bend. So I’m just going to follow Holy Spirit into whatever area He wants to touch on tonight.
Julia loved our girls so much. I remember when Jennifer was born. We were both scared to death. Here we had just brought this little baby girl home, and we had no clue as to what to do. We had had some basic training as to how to change diapers and stuff like that, but what do you do when your baby starts crying and cries basically all night, every night. We were trying everything, getting advice from all our friends. We were in Hawaii and our parents were in Georgia. Basically we were all alone, and she took the brunt of dealing with a crying baby. I can remember hugging her and telling her she was a good mom, but she had a hard time believing it. She somehow blamed herself that she couldn’t make the baby happy. She really was a good mom. She loved to make Jennifer and Lisa clothes, and she adored them. She was willing to do anything for them, sacrifice whatever was necessary to see that their needs were met. She was like a lioness protecting her cubs if anyone or anything threatened them, yet at the same time, she could be very tough on them. She had high standards and if the girls were not meeting them, they would know it pretty quickly.
As with almost all mothers and daughters, there comes a time in the teenage years when they really don’t get along like each of them hoped that they would. It’s not a lack of love, but more a growing independence that the daughters have to begin to flex. There were many nights during this time when Julia would come in, and I would hold her. She would tell me how she had “blown it” with Jennifer, Lisa or maybe both. She loved them so much; she would blame herself and doubt whether she was a good mother. I would hold her, listen to her, and then reassure her that she was a good mother. We didn’t always agree, but we always tried to stand behind the other and support their decisions. You know love without works probably isn’t love. Julia’s love was filled with works.
One of her love languages was a gift of service. She loved to help the girls move, or paint or anything hard. Well, if you know me, you know that is not one of my love languages. But I loved her, so I would gladly help, just to see her happy. I guess that’s why her not being there in July when both girls moved was so different. I know that she would have been flying back and forth from Ft Lauderdale to Norfolk to make sure both places were unpacked and that all the kids were settled in. She loved her girls so much. If she thought that anything or anyone was mistreating them or taking advantage of them, she would go after what she felt was wrong with a tenacity of a Mountain Lion. She had great discernment, and was always able to pick up on feelings or things that weren’t right, even if they were unspoken.
Finally she was a great “Nana”. I don’t know of anyone who enjoyed being a grandmther more than she did. When Adair was born, it was like another level of love was released in her. Then Meleah and Anna Roan came along. She couldn’t do enough for the girls. Every Christmas, every holiday, every birthday, shoot she didn’t need a reason to give them presents, but more than that she gave them so much love. We were able to take Adair and Meleah to the beach a number of times. We had so many plans for Anna Roan. Julia Anne, her namesake will never know her Nana except through pictures, stories and perhaps this blog. But Julia loved her too. She was planning to leave for Mobile to be with Lisa for the birth. No, her love is so strong that even though she is not here it remains.
Her love remains in theis house, in our hearts and especially in the lives of our granddaughters. They are her Legacy. Just like our daughters. The love and prayers that their mother and nana has released into the heavens for them will never pass away. It remains today. The prayers are still active, and being answered for all of them. She still loves us and she is sitting beside someone who loves us even more. Her prayers are still going forth. Now though, she is like a cheerleader who knows how the game ends. She is cheering us on to do all we need to do, knowing that we will get there. Julia you are loved, and when we get together as a family, you are so close we can feel you.
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