Tonight I am in Ft Lauderdale. It is really great to be with Sean, Jennifer, Adair and Meleah. It is great to be here to see their new place and just “hang out” with them. The girls are growing up so fast. We went out to eat after I got here, and then tonight we took a walk together. I know this weekend will go fast, but I am sure glad to be here. I worked this morning and then was able to ride on the jump seat down. It’s a good thing too. The plane was completely full. I think that I heard that eight standby passengers got on. I would not have made it. I know that Sunday afternoon will be the same way.
This is just another way that I have been blessed by having this job. In this economy and time in our nation where fear tries to grip us wherever we turn, we need to take time each day and really be thankful for the blessings that we have and the many ways our God does provide all of our needs. I used to be a news junkie. I constantly watched the news and listened to all the talk radio shows. But for me at least, I had to really cut back. I think it was Bill Johnson who said He was always only five minutes from depression and it depended on what He focused on. That’s pretty much where I am now. I can’t afford to focus on fear or bad news. Sure some of it may be true, and I might be wrong. But right now, I have to focus on the promises of God. You know, like the ones I talked about yesterday. I have to focus on what He can do and not what the government or politicians say they will do, or even what they actually do.
That doesn’t mean I’m not informed with what is going on in the world. I still am. I do watch and read enough to say abreast of the news, but my focus is not on it or on any doom and gloom scenario. My focus has to be on His goodness and His grace. My focus has to stay on His love for me, and the fact that He will never leave me or forsake me. I have to focus on the fact that no matter how dark it gets; the light in us will get brighter. He is the answer to all the problems; and no matter what we go through as a nation, or as individuals, His Kingdom will prevail. Fear is the opposite of Faith. We can’t have both. I have a choice to make daily. Well really sometimes hourly in these times. Am I going to give into the fear that is being broadcast over the airways or am I going to trust the one who knows the beginning and the end. Remember, what we behold is what we become. I have to make sure I am spending more time beholding Him than I am worrying about the future.
I got up early this morning to water some plants and pack. I had to be at work at 10AM, so I got up around 5AM. I know that’s early, but I had a number of things to do. While I was in the bathroom I was taken by surprise. On a wall above our garden tub in the master bath, I saw three glass vases. I had seen them many times but had never paid any attention to them. The two outside vases had some artificial “saw grass” sticking out of them with moss in the glass vase. But the inside one was different. It had rocks and water in it with a stick of bamboo growing in it. Yes growing, with new growth. It still had water. This plant hasn’t been touched for over 7 months and it was growing. I just laughed. I’ve had such a hard time keeping the other plants alive, and this one is thriving with no help whatsoever. That was surprise number one. Then I went in the closet and I was getting some of my stuff to pack when I came across a little book. I looked at it and realized that it was Julia’s day planner. I had probably seen it a number of times, but today I opened it up and looked at it. She had phone numbers, email addresses and more. I opened to the month of January and began to read. I could see her plans for the month. That’s when it hit me. The wall I pain and grief that I thought was gone was suddenly engulfing me like the ocean swallows up a drowning man. It was like a punch in the stomach.
Surprise number two was the intensity of the pain. Immediately I realized that this probably wouldn’t be the last time that I would be surprised like that. Well, I wasn’t about to stay in that place, so I immediately started calling out to Papa and worshiping Him. I looked at my watch and I had five minutes to spare before I needed to get dressed for work. So I just lay down on the floor and started thinking about the goodness of God and His love for me. I was thinking about all the blessings that He has given me and praising Him and worshiping Him with out music or even words for that matter. As quickly as the pain came, it left. After those five minutes, I got up, got dressed and went on about my day.
So here is my lesson for today. I have to choose to focus on God and worship Him in all situations. If I had kept my focus on my loss of Julia, no telling what my day would have been like. The really is this: What we behold, we become. What do you want to become?