No matter where I go, or how much fun I have, it is always good to be back home. I am home, sitting in my rocking chair, listening to Love Came Down and writing my blog. I can look around and see so many memories. I am closest to Julia here, in the house that she made our home. I say she made it because it’s true. Everything is in the place that she put it. Very little has changed over the last 7 months. So yes, it’s fun to get away, but I love coming back home. It’s like wrapping up in a warm blanket by the fire on a cold night. It just feels so comfortable.
The trip to Damascus was so quick. We all had a great time and I really missed Julia, but in a good way. I know that all my friends who have been with us in the past missed her to. We talked about her, and we knew that she would have enjoyed so much of what we were doing. They were great, and this was a trip that I needed to take so that I could open the door to more healing. It’s funny, but when you hide from life, your fears and wounds just get empowered. But when you press into them, confront them in healthy ways, they just become small issues that you can laugh at and move on. That’s what we did this week. John and Biddie; Terry and Patty; Dick and Judy; and myself; we pressed into a place where Julia would have been. We pressed in to our life and her memory and we enjoyed them both. By doing that, I thank that we all received a measure of healing. We stayed at the same place, did the same things and rode down the same paths as we have done the past two years with Julia. But this time we did it all without her. Yes, parts of it were hard for me, as I’m sure parts were hard for the others. But we did it.
So by pressing in, we have taken back something that we would have lost if we had let our fear of hurt keep us from going. Isn’t that what life is about? Spiritually, we have to press in too. We cant’ let wounds and lies keep us form our destiny. If we allow our perceptions and our wounds to define us, we will always be limited as to what we can do. But when we press in, and look at the wounds and allow Papa to help shine His light on them. Then, they are not as big as they seemed. Then we can deal with them and press into our destiny. In the natural, I’m very fortunate to have good friends and family to help me do this. In the spiritual, I have Jesus, Holy Spirit and Papa to help. But I have to stay connected to them. To do that, I have to press into them and deal with issues that try to block me from this relationship.
One of the greatest things that I have had going for me this year, was the fact that I was already connected strongly to them. I could know their goodness even in the midst of personal tragedy. I never had any doubt about their love for me, and their desires for me. I know for a fact that God is Good and He is in a good mood. He has shown this to me over and over again, especially these last few months. Does that mean nothing bad ever happens to me? Obviously not, but I live in a fallen world and I am in a war. The sooner we understand that we are in this war, the better it will be for all of us. Things happen in wartime. Could I have prayed and prevented Julia from dying? Maybe, I will never know. I’ll just have to put that question on the hanger and hang it in “the closet of mysteries”. If I could understand everything about God, He wouldn’t be much of a God, would He? We have to realize that He is God and some things we will not know until we are with Him. But we still have to keep pressing in. That is what I am determined to do, both in the natural and in the supernatural. I just want to press into His goodness.