Sunday, August 15, 2010

Day 217 - How Big is God?

I’m back home tonight in my rocking chair doing what is now becoming such a part of my life that I plan my evenings around it. I look at my schedule and make sure I have enough time to sit here, think, meditate and write. I really don’t know how many people are reading each day, but it really doesn’t matter. The fact that I am taking the time to write has opened up so many new areas in my thoughts. Like tonight; the title will make sense as we go along, but for the past few days I have been thinking about God. I have been thinking about my view of Him, and I have determined that my view of God is still too small. So many times, I just think of Him like I would myself. Yet, if I limit him to my image, he would not be God.

I’ve often told other people that if we have to understand everything God does, then we are limiting Him to be no wiser or better than we are. Yesterday at Starbucks I was reading “The Supernatural Power of a Transformed Mind” by Bill Johnson. I’ve read it before, but this time it’s like I’m reading it for the first time. He said something that really hit me, and I want to quote it now:

“We cannot afford to live in only what we understand because the we don’t grow or progress anymore; we just travel on the same familiar roads that we have traveled all of our Christian life. It is important that we expose ourselves to impossibilities that force us to have questions that we cannot answer”

We all like answers. We all want to think that we can understand God. When something happens we want a rational explanation. If we don’t have one, we have theories that give us one. Believe me, there are a lot of things that I want answered, but I am learning that the answer is not up to me. It’s not really my job to develop theories or even embrace other people’s theories, no matter how good they are. It’s my responsibility as a believer to focus on God. It’s my job as a believer to worship Him and acknowledge His worth. As I get to know Him more, His love and goodness grow in my heart. I truly believe that Jesus Christ is perfect theology and as I read the New Testament I never find Him judging sinners. I see him saying “Go and sin no more” and I hear him saying many times “your sin’s are forgiven”. But the only people I really ever see Him angry with are those who are using the religious system an the house of God for their own gain. Am I wrong? Am I missing something? I am certainly open to learn. I sure don’t have all the answers.

So, I am constantly amazed at how much He loves me and how much He loves us all. So when I realize that I have began to place him in another box, all I can do is ask Him to show himself bigger than the box I have Him in. Think about it, we all have put God in a box. It’s how we think. “He can do this, but maybe not this.” Or the other way we do it is we say, “Yes, I know He can, but I don’t know if He will”. I admit that I am guilty, and I bet you are to. I know that the only way for me to break the boundaries that I have placed on Him is to love Him and worship Him more. I have to become more fully related and acquainted with the total Godhead; Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The reason I call Father “Papa” is a term of love. I know that He loves me so much more than someone I would just call Father. My calling Him Papa is my way of returning the love and respect that I have for Him. The same is for Jesus and Holy Spirit. I love them to, but their names are names that I can associate my love with. Papa is just so much more intimate than Father. His love is the one that I am really getting to know.

So, the real question of the night is not “How Big is God?” The question we all must answer is “How Big is He in my Life? And the second question is “Why isn’t He Bigger?” In other words, what have I done to limit His love and presence in my life right now? That’s what I want to ask Holy Spirit tonight. He will give me a straight answer if I am willing to change where I need to. So I think that I will end this post tonight and just sit here and talk with Holy Spirit. I know that He has something to say, and to often I am too busy to listen.

1 comment:

  1. I read your blog daily but rarely comment online. My niece lost her second child in a drowning accident and her grief journey was online with I believe it was theraputic for her. I think you commented earlier that your writing is, as you just wrote, both theraputic and illuminating. I find your writing compelling, both when you expound on your faith and when you reflect on your life with Julia. It is the sending out of faith, hope and love.