Sunday, May 2, 2010

Day 112 - What a Weekend

I know that Julia was looking down all weekend with a big smile on her face. Someone told me tonight that if you know where someone is, you haven’t lost them. Well, I know where Julia is, so she is not lost. She is here with me in Spirit. It’s just sometimes I really miss being with her in the flesh. Today was just the icing on the cake for a great weekend. Church was awesome thins morning. Sometime over the past six months we have finally reached the tipping point. We are finally reaching a stage at RiverStone that Julia and I longed for, prayed for, cried for and struggled in the spirit for. We have moved over the threshold from just a good evangelical church to a radical body who is going after the presence of God at all cost. This is what we have given the last eleven years of our life for. It is something that I know she is still working on in Heaven. No, we haven’t quite got there yet, but we are so much farther along. I no longer fear that we will ever go back. We have crossed over the line. There is no turning back. Really last year when we brought Daniel and Taylor on staff was the turning point. No Evangelical church would let them be worship leaders. This move really freed our staff to begin to move more into the things of God. Then summer camp with Scott and Lacy helped seal the deal. Sozo was another weight that added on to the pile. Really and truly now there is only one way to go. That is straight into the presence of the Father, straight into revival.

Face down tonight was so good. We let the church experience what we do at our time of healing prayer. Our model is based on Bethel Redding’s Healing room, and we are beginning to see more and more fruit and healings. Tonight the freedom was unbelievable. We had prophetic art, prophetic words, soaking prayer and we ended with a huge fire tunnel. Terry had Tom and Melissa come to the front at the end and we honored them. Tom talked about some of the early years when we all wanted to quit. I remember those times very well. I have been so involved for the past 10 years, but we are entering into a new time in the church. I am entering into a new time in my life. My sense is that my new role at RiverStone will be one of a senior advisor, so to speak. I know that I will be involved. It is my home. But only time will tell how. I’m not going anywhere, but seasons change, and needs change. My role at RiverStone was like that of a wartime advisor. I see a season of peace and growth. I will be needed and used, but my role will change. Besides, my dreams and goals are being refined. I am much more ministry oriented right now. My heart is to experience the hand of God as I minister to people. Maybe I will start new ministries, but God hasn’t shown me that yet. I just want to be involved in bring the Kingdom of God down to earth however that may look.

I really want to take some time, maybe over the summer, and begin to seek out the path God has for me. I seem to be able to help others, but there are so many good pats that I could choose right now, I have to find His path. I do have some guidelines. I know that I will be involved more in ministry outside the local church. I can see that as I go into second year and begin to travel. I believe God is going to open up more opportunities as time goes on. I am a revivalist. I have always known that. Now I have a forum to move into that even more. I am also a father. A father not only to my girls, but to many in the spirit. It is my job to help show them the love of the Father. How that looks, I’m not sure yet. I want to find out quickly though, because that is a huge part of my destiny.

So, here I am, thinking the same thing I was talking about at graduation: “What Now”. Julia was so much a part of my life and destiny. Everything has shifted. My destiny is much different now that she is gone. What was comfortable and maybe too predictable is no more. Now there is no comfort or predictability. All things have become new. God is working for good ant that the enemy meant for bad. I have always been one to embrace change. This is not a change I wanted or ever thought would happen. But it has, and major change is the result. How does that change look? I have no idea, but I choose to embrace it. I know that He is directing it and I know that “yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil…surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.” This change will consist of His goodness and Mercy even though it was precipitated by the enemy. So Let it come. I do choose to gladly embrace all that it brings. He is able to keep me and I trust that He will.

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