Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Day 164 - Questions?

How big is your God? Really I should right “How big is my God?” Don’t you wonder sometimes why God does certain things or doesn’t do certain things? I do, more than I would like to admit. It used to worry me that I didn’t understand things. There are questions that I have that I will want to ask Him when I get to heaven. The stinking feeling that I have though is that when I get to heaven all of the questions will not matter. So if they won’t matter in heaven, why do they matter now? I have a lot of questions, so many that I can’t remember a lot of them. I guess that after time they don’t keep the same level of importance that they had originally.

So, what kind of questions do I have? Well here are some examples. Why doesn’t the Kingdom come in fullness every time I pray? What causes some people to get healed instantly while others don’t? How can I gain more anointing and power? How can I release more of His presence? I could go on and on but you get the idea. Sure we all have questions, but what defines us and how we can be used in the Kingdom is not that we have questions, but how we react even when our questions aren’t answered. You see, it’s OK to have questions but it’s not OK to demand answers. I believe that a big part of faith is being willing to have the questions, but then put the questions up on a shelf and not worry about them. As Bill Johnson says, we must be willing to put the questions on the rack in that closet of mysteries that will be opened when we do get to heaven.

I have come to think about it like this. If I have to understand everything God does or doesn’t do, then I have relegated God to be just like me. I’m glad that I don’t understand everything He does. That allows me to believe that He really is much bigger and better than I could ever imagine. I had much rather to be able to feel His tangible manifest presence than to understand everything He does. It’s His presence that brings life. Out of His life flows healing, peace, health, love all of the goodness that He wants to release upon the earth. We all need to be able to rest in His presence. What is the most important thing that I do each day? Now that is an interesting question. I really think the most important thing that I do all day is taking time to rest in His presence. That is what renews my spirit and recharges me to keep on pressing in for more.

The interesting thing is that for me, the way I get into His presence varies each day. It’s not just one thing; it’s purposefully pressing into Him whenever you have a chance. Sometimes it is when I read the word; other times it is when I lay soaking to worship music. Many mornings, especially this week, it is as I drive to work listening to worship music and drawing deep into Him. So it doesn’t matter how, it’s not a formula or a discipline. No it is just a heart felt seeking, a desperation that causes me to press through outside surroundings to seek His love; something that I can get nowhere else.

How do you know when you are there? Well for me, I just have a sense of peace and love that overcomes and overwhelms all of my circumstances and feelings. I cam be feeling stressed and uptight. The minute I enter His presence, I feel relaxed. The circumstances didn’t change, but I changed. He was resting in and upon me; and that made all the difference. One of the ways that I can enter His presence, and it might sound weird is for me to start listening to worship music and start writing this blog. When I’m writing, many times it’s just like I am talking with Holy Spirit just asking questions and writing down what He says to me. While I am writing I feel such a peace, and it lingers upon me after I’ve finished. I pray that you who read this can sense His presence as you read. I can feel His presence strong within me right now. As I rest in Him, He renews my soul.

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