I’m sitting here in my rocking chair, but I am listening to a new song tonight. Actually I am listening to three new songs by Jesus Culture. The first is “You are my Passion” sung by Kim Walker Smith. The words are unbelievable. It just sends my heart flying. The words are so strong that they are a message; in fact you could say that they are the message I have been trying to send for the past 30 years. Of course the music and Kim singing it makes it even more powerful. I can’t wait until we do it at RiverStone. It ends with “You are my hearts desire, I live to know you more. I guess that is why I am alive tonight. I am in the process of evaluating what I am doing. This is not an empirical process where I am writing everything down and looking at the pros and cons. No it is really a softer process of just asking Holy Spirit to begin to show me. I have given Holy Spirit permission to trim back, prune, weed, however you want to think of it. I want to be focused like a laser on the task that Papa is calling me to do. There might be more than one, and there probably will, but I don’t want to keep doing something because I have done it in the past.
This afternoon, I did some pruning of my knockout roses. They had been beautiful in season, but in order for them to put out more flowers, they needed to be pruned back radically. If I was the plant and that was happening to me, I would be very upset. I would probably be doing self-analysis wondering what I had done wrong. It would be hard to accept the fact that I had done nothing wrong. Instead I had done everything right. Of course it wouldn’t seem fair, but life is not fair. Sometimes, no I would say most times, we have to be pruned back to reach the next level.
“Tom and Julia” or “Julia and Tom” produced a lot of fruit over the years, but I must be pruned to go to the next level. Pruning is not fun. Today I cut off some of the strongest limbs from that rose bush. It was where the most productive fruit had been produced. But this is the time, this next year. I sense that a lot of reshaping in my life will take place. Don’t read anything into this; I have no idea about any details. It’s just a sense I have in the spirit. The only thing I know is that I feel Papa has told me that second year at BSSM will help me gain the focus I need to press into the next level He is calling me into. I belong to Jesus, and I am free to be blown by the wind of the Spirit. I want to see His Glory and my time no matter how many years I have is shorter than it was last year. None of us has time to waste. That’s our problem; we all think we have all the time in the world. Well I wouldn’t be writing this blog if that were true, would I. The last song is show me your Glory. I really want His Glory to manifest all around. That won’t happen if I stick just to what I have done. No, living is about adventure, it is about risk and it is about change. And this I do know: I am going to live! I will live my life to the fullest. That means I want to live my life totally for Him, to release His glory upon the earth.
That is my heart, but how does that walk out. Well today it was only in interacting with my students. They were really the only people that I talked to. Then I cam home, and never left the house. It’s hard to minister to others when you’re totally alone. But tomorrow I won’t be totally alone, so I will have to ask for some divine appointments and be willing to risk talking to them and being led by Holy Spirit to do whatever He says. So it will be an early getup tomorrow as well. 3AM comes early, that is why this blog is so early tonight. I like the early periods, I think. Well I had better like them because I have 12 of them next month. Should be interesting. So tonight I stop writing while listening for the second time to “ You are my passion”. One of the phrases is “My strength in life is I am Yours”. That is so true of me. That is my main strength, that I am his. “My soul delights because I am Yours.” I downloaded the songs from Itunes this afternoon. Well worth the 2.49 I had to pay.