Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Day 3 What does "normal" look like?

The dictionary defines normal as “regular, standard, ordinary, common, usual or natural." Something that is normal is usual and ordinary, and is what people expect. According to that definition, Julia and I didn’t have very many normal days. At least not in the last 10 years. I guess we had normal days more when the kids were little, and we had more structure. For one thing, my profession didn’t lead to normal days. For 25 years I was a pilot for Delta Airlines. A pilot’s life doesn’t lend itself to "normal". Your schedule is very irregular. You are either home or you are gone. And there are no such things as weekends or holidays. I was blessed, because for 14 of those years I worked in Flight training as an instructor. My “ normal" then was to work anytime of the day from 5AM to midnight. The simulator runs 20 hours a day, and you are scheduled for any of those periods that they need you. So I guess my normal has always looked different than anyone else’s. For the past 3 years I have been working as a contract simulator instructor with Delta. I work when I’m needed, usually anywhere from 10 – 20 days a month. Add in Sunday church, Sozos of Friday nights, cell group on Thursday night and this year the Bethel Atlanta School of Supernatural Ministry on Monday and Tuesday nights, so we really haven’t had “normal in a long time. But it’s not about what you do; it’s about who you do it with. Normal for me was to have Julia by my side. We led group together (I know I talked more, but her input was invaluable). We did sozos together, or on the same nights. We trained ministry teams together. We prayed together. We went to Healing prayer together. Except for a couple of nights a week in school, or when I was at work we were totally involved in each other’s life. I loved it that way. Oh, we weren’t perfect by any means. We could disagree on many things. But our passion was the same. That passion was and is to bring the Kingdom of God into everywhere we went, and to set the captives free.

So really my question is really “What does it look like without Julia?” To be brutally honest, it sounds very lonely. I really can’t picture myself without her. Even in the little things. For example, I still haven’t found out where she put the camera. I’ve been looking for two days. Also, Jennifer asked me where the cleaning supplies were to clean the bathtub. I didn’t know. I don’t know what that says about me except that I took a lot of the things Julia did around the house for granted. I knew that she did a lot; I just didn’t realize how much it took to keep life running. I think that is part of the “male image”. We think that all we have to do is go to work, come home and relax. We forget that our wives work too. Some work a full time job and keep the house. Right now, on looking back, I wish that I had done more to partner with her around the house. I did more than others, but I realize that I could have helped out more.

But I digress. The new “normal” is going to take more than one day to figure out. I know that even when I am lonely, God will keep me from loneliness. Already the Holy Spirit is meeting with me at night when I go to bed and the communion is sweeter than it has ever been. It’s as if Julia asked Him to come and comfort me. But He is called the comforter; it’s just that this is a side of Him that I haven’t seen in my life before now.

Well I guess that’s all for tonight. I just spilt coffee all over the floor, rug and tablecloth. “Julia would not be happy right now”. Sorry honey :>). Time to clean up.


  1. Tom, I'm loving your blog!! I think you are a natural born writer!! I love the honesty and the transparency! Keep it up!! It's such an encouragement!!

  2. Wow, I'm new to all this technology too! goes. I love what you're doing. I have always journaled, especially during the nails against the blackboard times with Micky being sick, etc. He really does answer in the written word, that's why our Bible has been such a best seller. Some blogs become best sellers too!! Even a movie, "Julie and Julia". So, God bless your hands as you type what God presses into your heart. Olive oil presses are never easy. As you have endured the stoney rock press, may you have containers enough to fill over and over and over.

  3. Tom, your writing is wonderful and powerful - thank you so much - it's healing for me too to be able to remember through your sweet words - I've loved being able to come here and catch a glimpse of what's going on - especially since we're so far away - thank you friend.

  4. Loving your blog, Tom. It is real - keep it coming. We look forward to helping you in the lonely times. Call us! Today's intercession was over the top as we remembered Julia!!! Love you!

  5. Tom - you're amazing - actually, Jesus in you is amazing. It's fun hearing things from your perspective - did you look in all of Julia's purse for the camera? Just a thought. Love you.
    Patty & Terry

  6. That passion was and is to bring the Kingdom of God into everywhere we went, and to set the captives free. - That's it!

  7. I am amazed. You and Julia continue to teach us so much. Thank you for sharing your stories! I hope you will find what your "normal" is in time. Maybe your "normal" has been or is the fact that things are not routine & in that you live in an adventure.
    I hope you find the camera too.
    ><> ann