It’s already after 10, and I’m just starting this. Right now it is so peaceful here in the house. I’m sitting in the Rocker, next to the fire. I have my favorite album playing. I can’t get enough of Love Come Down. The second song is an old hymn from the Welsh Revival called “Here is Love”. It talks about Heavens Peace and Perfect Justice. As I began to listen to it again, I realized that was what I had. I have Heaven’s peace, and I know that there will be perfect justice. I saw a lot of people today. I flew home early, landing in the rain at 9AM. I had lunch with friends at the West Cobb Diner. The food was very good, and reasonable. It’s definitely a winner in my book. We were talking about different things, mainly about what God was doing in the world, and about His goodness. They asked me how I was doing. This is a common question, and most of the time my answer is “I’m doing very well”. This is because most of the time I am. I actually almost felt guilty that I was feeling good so much of the time. I told them that and we talked about how it is God’s grace. Think about this: Wouldn’t a good doctor give you enough pain medication to keep you out of distress if you had an operation. I just had half my heart and soul snatched away from me. I can feel good because of Heaven’s peace. It’s his love that sustains me. I’m not bitter or angry because I know that I will get His perfect Justice. So He in His presence is giving me the “spiritual anesthetic” that I need to keep me in Heaven’s peace. So I have come to realize that’s it’s OK to feel good.
I went to small group tonight. We meet at RiverStone in the Grand Foyer. We meet there because our “small” group has out grown any of our homes. Peter and Masha Oswalt were our special guest. Peter and Masha are missionaries in Russia, and they are here for a couple of months. Julia and I met them a few years ago and fell in love with them instantly. They are very gifted and the anointing of God just drips off of them. They taught and ministered to us all. It was awesome. We had good ministry time, praying and speaking the destiny and blessings of God over each other. During worship, in my minds eye, I could see Julia as I have seen her so many times before, her hands raised, gracefully dancing before the Lord. I know that she enjoyed to night from her vantage point, and was cheering us on. Tonight we were talking about pushing out for more and not being content with where we are. This is the message Julia and I have been sharing for years, and our hearts desire.
But we weren’t always going after God. After we finished our honeymoon, we spent 5 months in different places around the country while I went to various schools getting ready for our first assignment. Our first assignment was at Hickam AFB in Honolulu Hawaii. We were both excited about going. It was an adventure we were looking forward to. But we were finding that married life wasn’t always a bed of roses. These first few months we were staying in small, furnished apartments or hotels. Trying to establish a household or any domestic patterns was almost impossible. I was just trying to add Julia to what I normally did. That didn’t work very well. She didn’t like to go to the officers club and hang out at the bar. I found that she was not fitting in to my lifestyle very well. On the other hand, I know that she felt totally out of place with no friends and no time to make any. To make matters worse, between schools we would come back to Atlanta and stay at our parent’s house. I wanted to stay at my parent’s house and she wanted to stay at her parent’s house. So you can see this wasn’t going as well as I thought it would. But I knew that once we got to Hawaii, everything would be all right. Besides, we had only known each other a couple of months now. What can you expect when you get married after 3 dates? Well we were probably getting what we deserved.
It’s fun now even think back of all those times, even the hard ones. God’s grace and Heaven’s peace is truly calling me right now. I’m sitting here resting by the fire, enjoying the last part of the evening. Yes there is still a lingering emptiness, but for tonight at least it is mostly replaced with a knowing. A knowing that she is right here with me. I can almost feel her presence, and I can sense her so close to me as I rest in Heaven’s peace. It is a GOOD night.