After a great day yesterday, I woke up this morning in an empty bed thinking about Julia and my loss of her. It was the type of day where we would normally get up and I would fix breakfast and we would read our Smith Wigglesworth Devotional and pray together. We didn’t always get to do that, but when we did it was always a lot of fun. I wish that I prayed as much as Julia did. I never seemed to have the time. I was always working or involved in something else. Don’t get me wrong, I pray, but I could never keep up with her. She just loved to spend time to pray. I remember when she first started “soaking” in the presence of God. I had a hard time with that. I just couldn’t slow down my mind enough. When I did slow down, I would fall asleep. It probably took me over a year to begin to get the hang of it. She was very patient with me. I’m sure she got impatient with me, but she didn’t show it. She new that I would come along, and I did. This is a key thing I have learned in 38 years of marriage. Even if you are both going after the same thing, sometimes you go at different speeds. You have to have patience to allow the other to catch up sometimes. That doesn’t mean you stop. On the contrary, most of the time Divine jealousy is what will motivate the other to keep on. It’s just that the lead might have to slow down a little and help the other one. There were times in our marriage when I had to help Julia along, and times where she had to help me. The there were the really good times when we were running hard, side by side. For the last 3 years that has been the case. Both of us running as hard as we can, side by side. I’m not stopping. I know that she is there beside me now, urging me on. But it’s still different, and a little lonely.
I got better as the day progressed. I had some errands to run and then I joined the YMCA. I haven’t been getting to run because of the cold and out treadmill has been broken since November. I was planning to get the treadmill fixed so Julia could use it. Now I feel it more important to get out and exercise with others, so I decided the join the Y. Then I went back and worked out. I did get to talk to both Jennifer and Lisa today. It is always good to talk to them. I miss them and the grandkids a lot. I know that they all miss their “Nanna”. I can never replace her, and wouldn’t want to. But I do know that they all need me more than ever, and I want to be there for them.
Tonight we had Sozos. We had 6 scheduled, 4 women and 2 men. I had the teams scheduled accordingly. I didn’t schedule myself because I figured I needed another week before I “got back in the saddle”. The Holy Spirit had other ideas. What I thought was a woman scheduled was actually her husband. Being the only male left in the office when he came in, I know that I had to do it. So I just prayed silently “Help, come Holy Spirit”, gathered my stuff, reassigned some of the teams and went to do it. Once again, the Goodness of God comes to pass. I who have nothing is filled with the Holy Spirit who has everything. The grace and presence of God was with me the whole evening and I thank Him for His love and mercy.
So, here I am, going into another weekend. Tomorrow I go back to work. Sunday things start getting busier. Danny Silk, from Bethel Redding is in town for our school next week. I can’t wait for that. Once again, I thank the body for all the prayers and support. I’m still riding the wave of your prayers and His presence.