Wednesday, January 2, 2013

What do You do When Dreams End?

Dreams can end in many different ways. We all have dreams. Some come true, and some don’t. Sometimes we chase a dream all of our lives and never see it fulfilled. Sometimes they come true. I have had dreams come true before. I dreamed of being a pilot when I was a child, and then I became one after I graduated from Tech. I dreamed of becoming an airline pilot and flying for Delta Airlines, and in 1978 that came true too. I lived that dream for 25 years. I dreamed of having a wonderful wife and children. That dream came true also. A good dream comes to pass, and you can live it. You ride the wave of that dream for years. Sometimes it continues even for a lifetime. If you are blessed and fortunate you can ride the dreams all your life. Right now just think of your dreams. What dreams have you had that you are still going after. What about the ones that have come true? Are you still living it out, or has it ended? Yes, dreams can end. Sometimes the dreams are for a season in your life. When that season is over, the dream ends. I dreamed of being a Vineyard pastor, and I was for a time, but that ended. That dream lasted only for a season, yet I think God gave me that dream along with the answer. There are dreams that are only for a short season, but they still help make you who you are. But then, there are dreams that are dreams that are supposed to last a lifetime. I know that He gave me Julia as well as my daughters. That dream was supposed to last a lifetime. I had Julia for 38 and a half years and then the dream was ripped out from under me when we were in full stride. Her death ended the dream of us as a couple doing all the things that we did. I still had my daughters and granddaughters, but the original dream ended on Jan 8, 2010. I never realized how much things would change. Even during that first year writing my blog, I had no clue as to the impact that her death would actually have on everything I did. Yes, dreams can end. Then what? It doesn’t matter what your dream is, or how it ends. When it ends we all have a choice. We can live in the past and remember how it used to be, or we can choose to go after new dreams. When I retired from Delta, it was pretty traumatic. I took early retirement before I was ready because of their financial situation. I wasn’t mentally prepared and it took me a while to come to grips with everything that happened. I had a choice: I could live in the past, and just think of how good it used to be, and all that I was missing now, or I could choose to move on and focus on new adventures. New adventures mean new risks but they also mean new possibilities. I chose to go after new adventures. When Julia died, I could have just stayed Tom Roan, Julia’s husband. It was a great life, and I was very comfortable being who I was. Things were safe and life was predictable. Sure, I could do things to shake things up. Things like learning to ride a Harley, but still I was walking in the shadow of the past, still living in a dream that had ended. For a long time, I chose to stay where I was; not wanting to ever share myself deeply with another. But as time progressed I had to open up. I began to realize that there were new dreams to go after, new worlds to explore. When I began to see Sheryl, I found it very hard to open up. I would find myself being two different people. I would want to see her and spend time with her, but then I would be with her and act like I didn’t want to be there. It drove her nuts, I know because she has told me. But over time, I think that I knew that to live again I had to be willing to trust someone else; someone new. As I opened up to her, I realized how much I was still capable to love, and how much I still needed love. Spending time with her made me dream again. We all need dreams, and we all need someone to dream with. I have been doubly blessed that I have had both Julia and Sheryl in my life. Yes, my dream with Julia has ended. We have many good memories and shared much love. But My dream with Sheryl is just beginning. It is a dream in the making. It has passion and even though we aren’t young, I believe this dream will be years in the fulfilling as well. Yes, dreams do end. The key is to go after new dreams. Never stop searching and seeking out what is next. Papa God loves to give His children surprises.

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