Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Three Years Later

So, here I am sitting by a fire with a glass of wine listening to Simon and Garfunkel while I am writing my blog. That is about the only thing in my life that is still the same as it was this time three years ago. No, I am wrong! One thing remains constant in my life: God is still good!! He was good on that night of great sadness, and He is just as good during this night of joy and blessing. So much has changed. If I had any idea, I would not have believed it. First, I have always known that Julia was in a better place, even when we were trying to call her back. I can certainly understand why she wouldn’t come home. It was never about her missing out on us, no it was about us missing out on her. I look back on that night and the weeks to follow. I don’t remember a lot, mostly what I read in my blog. But I do know that I had to be numb and in shock for a while. It is definitely true about the “Footprints in the Sand”. Truly He carried me through those times. I can remember dreading every Friday, and especially when the 8th of the month came up. I can remember the nights curled up in Papa’s arms with Jesus and Holy Spirit. He kept me when I was so cold and lonely. I thought that I would never be able to have an 8th of the month pass without dread, especially a yearly anniversary pass. The grief was so intense, yet the love was so strong. I know that I missed some of the steps of grief, or at least short cut many of them. Holy Spirit is the best grief counselor that anyone could have. He kept me safe and flying through the turbulence safely. I remember thinking that I could never love again. My heart was too full of pain and loss to love. It is amazing how Papa allowed that pain and loss to slowly slip away. It’s amazing how He allowed a space for love to open in the fields of grief. It’s even more amazing that He would save a woman like Sheryl to fill that place where love was needed. I remember when I was wrestling over whether to date her or not. Part of me wasn’t sure, while I think Holy Spirit was quietly pushing us together. I do know that there were many people praying that we would get together, many powerful intercessors. I am amazed that I can feel so much love and so much life. I know that Julia is pleased. It’s been three years tonight that she went to be with Papa. I know that she is smiling down as I write this tonight. I look back at all of my friends and how they kept watch on me to make sure I was not drifting off to a dark place. I don’t know what I would have done with out you guys. So, at this three-year point, how am I? I am just so blessed. My life is filled to overflowing with love and adventure. Every day is different. Sheryl is a treasure and truly a gift from God. I don’t think there is another man alive that is loved more than I am, and I truly love her dearly. For a person that thought there was no love left in him, I surprise myself sometimes by how much I am able to love. It’s like we are on a never-ending honeymoon filled with adventure and romance. Life is so good. Sure it is very busy as we run after our dreams together. I look forward to all the years that we have left together. I pray that there are many, but I don’t take any of them for granted. One thing I have learned is we only have the day we are in, and we need to make the most of that day. I am blessed to have all of my children and grandchildren as well as her children and grandchildren. Together we have four children and ten grand children. We both love them all. If only they were all closer. I know that I am seeing Divine Justice at it’s finest. I have seen a woman healed from her deathbed who had the same thing that Julia had. I have Sheryl and all the kids to bless me with love and life. God loves me because I am His favorite, but guess what? You are His favorite too!! So here at the three-year point, I really am healed both spiritually and emotionally. Do I still miss Julia? Of course I do, but He has given me Sheryl and a new life with new dreams to follow. Life moves on and so must we. Yes, I treasure the past. But I gladly embrace the future and all that it holds. My prayer for my daughters and granddaughters and all for my friends is that you all are able to do the same. Life is exciting and is meant to be lived to the fullest!

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