Well, it’s too late to actually post this on March 3rd, but it is the post for the third. I’ll post one for the 8th later. God is good, and He is in a good mood. The flight today was oversold, which is unusual for this flight. Then we realized why. Most of the colleges are on spring break, and there were mission teams from Georgia, Vanderbilt and at least two high schools going to Nicaragua for the week. They are all coming back on Sunday as well, so I really think that I will come back on Saturday. Anyway, when I looked at the flight this morning, I was shocked to see how bad it looked, Normally I might have started to worry about getting on, but I had a strong peace about the flight. One of the leaders of the trip also was going standby, so we both needed to get on. Well, to make a long story short, we both got on in First Class. It was a nice flight down, and I knew the Captain. I had taught him in training last month.
The hotel is very nice. I told Lacy that I would go with her on mission trips anytime. I am rooming with Will Paul, and the room is up to American standards. It just took us a long time to get checked in, and then we drove around trying to find a place to eat. We wound up eating at a gas station. It was better than it sounds. Everything else was closed because it was so late.
We have the morning free, and will probably do outreach at the mall tomorrow afternoon, and then we have a meeting at a church tomorrow night. I was thinking about Julia while I was sitting on the plane. I know that she wouldn’t have been here anyway, but it’s still hard to believe she is not at home sometimes. It just seems weird that she is not around. Sometimes it seems like I will see her come around the corner into the room. It’s sort of mater of fact now. I’m not in pain, it’s just a fact, she’s not coming back. I know that, but I still love her, and I can be joyful when I think back on the memories, and I can be joyful when I look at all there is ahead,
As we were flying into land tonight, I was praying for this country. It’s been ravaged by war for years, yet the people seem so nice. I was praying that God’s Kingdom would be manifest wherever we go, and His presence would leak out from us.
Well, It’s late, and we have a full day tomorrow, so I’ll update you tomorrow night> I know that good things are going to happen. I can feel it.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Day 55 - I'm Ready!
Today was a day of rest and preparation for my trip. I can’t believe it’s tomorrow. Someone asked me if I was excited, and I said thea I’m getting excited. So much work this week has really kept me from focusing on the trip like I should. But today, I began to dream about the trip. I was really dreaming about being used by God to help bring the Kingdom of God to whomever we minister to. I was dreaming about salvations. I don’t consider myself as an evangelist. I think that is far down on the list of gifting that I have. But I could see captives being set free. I really feel that forgiveness is going to be a key as we preach to the people. Many choose not to forgive, thinking in some way that hurts the person that hurt them. It doesn’t. All unforgiveness does is to take the person who chooses not to forgive and put them in prison. It locks them up and keeps them from being free. By choosing to forgive, you allow yourself to be set free. That freedom can bring about restoration and life. It can bring you into the presence of God. It allows the Holy Spirit to open your eyes to all that God wants to do. Not forgiving locks you in prison. We are going to set the captive/prisoners free. Forgiveness will be a big issue.
People have to hear what God is really like. They have to come to a point where they want to have a relationship. This cannot be the religious God they have been taught. There has to be breakthrough, and there will be breakthrough! I can’t wait. I know I’m going to preach, but tonight I’m getting the sense that I might be doing some sozos on leaders also. I haven’t even thought about that, but that would be great. I just don’t know the timing. We have a small team, now we are down to 9 because one of the girl’s passport didn’t arrive in time. But I trust God to know that we have the team we are supposed to have.
I’m almost all packed. I’ve got everything in one suitcase, and I’ll have my backpack for my computer and books. Tonight at the connect conference David talked about everyone doing their “deal”. In other words, everyone reaching and living out their destiny. He talked about how we are all a team, and our destinies complement each other. I enjoyed the message and agreed with it for the most part. What he didn’t cover, and he probably didn’t have time, was that as time goes own, your “deal” changes. It’s like the man with five talents who is faithful. The master comes and gives him ten talents. So we have to be faithful with what our “deal “ is. At the same time we have to allow the Holy Spirit to show us when it is time to be dealt a new “deal”. I have been dealt a new deal. I’m not sure all that it entails, but I do know its new and bigger. I can sense it in the Spirit. I feel restless thinking that I could only do what I have been doing. The new deal is probably much like the old deal, and maybe I just didn’t fully understand what David was driving at. But just because it may be similar, in many ways it could be totally different. Whatever it is, I am excited. I am praying that while I am on this trip the Father will reveal more of the details to me, and show me how to walk in it.
So, tomorrow I’m off. We catch the plane at 5:30, and land around 10PM eastern time. I don’t know when I will be able to post my blog again. I am committed to writing it every day, so whenever I get a chance, I will post all those I have written. So check it whenever you can, and I will post it whenever I can. If you feel led, pray for me, for our team and all the people we will minister to. Next stop Managua Nicaragua.
People have to hear what God is really like. They have to come to a point where they want to have a relationship. This cannot be the religious God they have been taught. There has to be breakthrough, and there will be breakthrough! I can’t wait. I know I’m going to preach, but tonight I’m getting the sense that I might be doing some sozos on leaders also. I haven’t even thought about that, but that would be great. I just don’t know the timing. We have a small team, now we are down to 9 because one of the girl’s passport didn’t arrive in time. But I trust God to know that we have the team we are supposed to have.
I’m almost all packed. I’ve got everything in one suitcase, and I’ll have my backpack for my computer and books. Tonight at the connect conference David talked about everyone doing their “deal”. In other words, everyone reaching and living out their destiny. He talked about how we are all a team, and our destinies complement each other. I enjoyed the message and agreed with it for the most part. What he didn’t cover, and he probably didn’t have time, was that as time goes own, your “deal” changes. It’s like the man with five talents who is faithful. The master comes and gives him ten talents. So we have to be faithful with what our “deal “ is. At the same time we have to allow the Holy Spirit to show us when it is time to be dealt a new “deal”. I have been dealt a new deal. I’m not sure all that it entails, but I do know its new and bigger. I can sense it in the Spirit. I feel restless thinking that I could only do what I have been doing. The new deal is probably much like the old deal, and maybe I just didn’t fully understand what David was driving at. But just because it may be similar, in many ways it could be totally different. Whatever it is, I am excited. I am praying that while I am on this trip the Father will reveal more of the details to me, and show me how to walk in it.
So, tomorrow I’m off. We catch the plane at 5:30, and land around 10PM eastern time. I don’t know when I will be able to post my blog again. I am committed to writing it every day, so whenever I get a chance, I will post all those I have written. So check it whenever you can, and I will post it whenever I can. If you feel led, pray for me, for our team and all the people we will minister to. Next stop Managua Nicaragua.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Day 54 - Peace
I didn’t think that I was going to e able to get this blog written today. My plan was to try and write it between simulator periods. I started work at 1:40 and was supposed to be in the simulator for the second period that I worked until 11:30. I was hoping to get done by 5:30 on the first period and have 2 hours off before I had to be in the simulator for the second period. Well, it didn’t work as planned. I didn’t get through until around 6:15. That didn’t leave me enough time to go to Starbucks, write, and come back. So I figured that this would be the first night that I didn’t get the post in before midnight. But, we finished early, almost 2 hours early. So here I am by the fire in my rocking chair listening to “Love came down” writing, It is a comfortable place that I have come to love. I’m going to miss being here while I’m in Nicaragua. I will write there, but it will probably be in the hotel room, or on the bus driving back to the hotel. I think we will have a 4-hour drive to some of the locations we are going to. I will keep up to date on what we are doing, and more importantly what God is doing. I am really excited, and looking forward to the trip. I know that I will be preaching some. I probably have three messages. But they are the same message really. God is Good, and He is in a Good mood. He is a good Father, and we need to trust Him. Really that’s it. I can say it in a number of ways.
Yesterday at the funeral, I was thinking. These were good people who loved God. They are strong Christians, but something was different from Julia’s celebration service. I’m hesitant to say it because I don’t want to say anything negative about them. And I’m not. They are doing the best they know, the best that they have been taught. But they have not been taught about the total, ultimate goodness of God. You could see it. There was a sweet presence there, but there was not the abiding deep sense of peace that we had. It’s that peace that comes with the deep trust in the goodness of God. It’s that peace that enables you to keep fighting, to keep pressing on. It’s that abiding peace that keeps your faith from wavering. I don’t think I have ever realized that. It’s that peace and trust in the goodness of God that allows you to keep a single purpose. I might be wrong, and I might be exaggerating, but I really feel that that peace is abiding in this house right now. It is so strong when I walk in. As I think of how busy I am, I wonder how I am doing everything, but then I just settle into that peace, and it just seems easy. Now we had peace in the house before now. But there is a special grace right now. But it’s not just in this house it resides in me. I carry that peace at a new level. It’s one of the things, the gifts that the Holy Spirit had given me. It’s something that I must nurture, but I will carry, and be able to impart to others. It’s interesting that as I am writing this tonight, I feel that God is revealing things to me as I type.
That peace is the peace you get when you are soaring above the storms looking down. I could be in the middle of many storms right now, but I choose to rest in His presence. As I reflect His presence, I reflect His peace. His love brings life, and peace and I just want to dwell in the middle of it all. So this is what I want to take to the people I meet in Nicaragua: the peace and presence of God. I want to release His love and power wherever I go, and I am praying for the boldness to do it. So for all of you who are reading this blog, please pray for our team this week. I will do my best to keep you updated of what I going on. My prayer is that this blog will read like the book of Acts next week.
Yesterday at the funeral, I was thinking. These were good people who loved God. They are strong Christians, but something was different from Julia’s celebration service. I’m hesitant to say it because I don’t want to say anything negative about them. And I’m not. They are doing the best they know, the best that they have been taught. But they have not been taught about the total, ultimate goodness of God. You could see it. There was a sweet presence there, but there was not the abiding deep sense of peace that we had. It’s that peace that comes with the deep trust in the goodness of God. It’s that peace that enables you to keep fighting, to keep pressing on. It’s that abiding peace that keeps your faith from wavering. I don’t think I have ever realized that. It’s that peace and trust in the goodness of God that allows you to keep a single purpose. I might be wrong, and I might be exaggerating, but I really feel that that peace is abiding in this house right now. It is so strong when I walk in. As I think of how busy I am, I wonder how I am doing everything, but then I just settle into that peace, and it just seems easy. Now we had peace in the house before now. But there is a special grace right now. But it’s not just in this house it resides in me. I carry that peace at a new level. It’s one of the things, the gifts that the Holy Spirit had given me. It’s something that I must nurture, but I will carry, and be able to impart to others. It’s interesting that as I am writing this tonight, I feel that God is revealing things to me as I type.
That peace is the peace you get when you are soaring above the storms looking down. I could be in the middle of many storms right now, but I choose to rest in His presence. As I reflect His presence, I reflect His peace. His love brings life, and peace and I just want to dwell in the middle of it all. So this is what I want to take to the people I meet in Nicaragua: the peace and presence of God. I want to release His love and power wherever I go, and I am praying for the boldness to do it. So for all of you who are reading this blog, please pray for our team this week. I will do my best to keep you updated of what I going on. My prayer is that this blog will read like the book of Acts next week.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Day 53 - An Errand of Love
I’m sitting at one of my three favorite Starbucks. It’s on Camp Creek Parkway fairly close to the airport. It’s where I come when I want to get something, or hang out before work. It’s 4:15 in the afternoon. It doesn’t seem right to be writing my blog, but the next couple of days are going to be “off schedule” so to speak. I have to work tonight from 6PM until midnight. Then I work s double period tomorrow, between 2 and midnight. I’ll have a couple of hours off around 6. So, if I’m going to get anything posted for the next two days, I have to be flexible, and learn to write in the afternoon. I had rather be at home by the fire, but this will have to do.
Today I had an errand of love to perform for Julia. I was blessed to be able to perform it, and I really feel the need to write about it now. First I need to tell a little bit about Julia’s family. She was the first born of two children. She had a younger brother Cliff who died of tragic circumstances when Jennifer was in the 9th grade. Her mother and dad were great people, but they both had early deaths also. Julia’s dad got encephalitis on a fishing trip, and died when he was 54. Julia’s mother had pancreatic cancer, and died eleven years ago, in her mid 60’s. So Julia didn’t have very many living relatives. In fact, she sort of adopted my family as her own. My dad thought of her as one of “his” girls. Anyway, Julia has one favorite aunt that she is close to. She is the only one that we have seen consistently since her mother died. They would keep in touch on the phone, or we would visit with them a couple of times a year. Clarisse and Ralph were the closest living family that Julia had. We had even invited them up to our family Christmas a couple of times, but they weren’t able to come. Clarisse has two children. Last October one of them got married again, and we went to the wedding and were able to spend a good deal of time with them. We knew that Ralph had been very sick, and were able to pray for them both. I’m so glad we were there because that was the last time they saw Julia, and the last time I saw Ralph. He went into the hospital right after Christmas for some surgery and never came out. He passed away last Sunday.
So today I drove to McDonough Ga to attend his memorial service. The visitation was at 12, and the service was at 1PM. Since I have to work at the airport at 6, there was no time to drive home. That’s why I am at Starbucks. I never knew Ralph that well. We were never really that close. But I did know this. He was a very kind and gentle man. I would have probably liked him very much had circumstances been different. We always lived on opposite sides of Atlanta, and our visits were few and far between. Julia and Clarisse were close because they talked a lot on the phone, and had grown up knowing each other, but I was never really that close to either one. So my trip down today was for them and for Julia. I know that we would be going if she were here, and I wanted to honor them.
As I sat in the service I had really a lot of time to think and reflect. As they were talking about Ralph, I found myself thinking about Julia. They had a little program. On the inside was the 23rd psalm. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. I was thinking of how much He has carried me this past two months, and how He has kept me. Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thy rod and staff they comfort me. I have walked in this valley for two months now. I really had no idea what to expect. I still don’t. But this I do know: He is comforting me, and I am learning a lot. It’s hard to quantify things right now. It’s just that there is a peace and calmness in my spirit that is so strong.. I’ve had peace before, but now I feel that peace radiating from me. There is also a strange calmness about me. It’s like I don’t care what happens. But that’s not it at all. I do care what happens, now more than ever. I think it is just that I know whatever happens, He is enough.
While I was eating a late lunch / early dinner I started reading my book of the month for BSSM. It is Hedi Baker’s book “Always Enough”. Have you ever started reading a book, and before you even get started you realize that this book could change your life? Well that’s the way I felt the minute I started reading it. There are things on my horizon. Things that I can’t see clearly now, but I know that I will in time. This book has something to do with them. I plan on reading it on the plane to Nicaragua this weekend. My pray for myself is that I would not only help bring change there, but that Holy Spirit would change in me whatever needs to be changed.
Now back to the service. They had been married 55 years. I know that she must be hurting, Julia and I had only been married 381/2 years. My heart went out to her and the children. It was a good service, very honoring to a kind and gentle man who loved God with all his heart. I could almost see Julia, Ralph and the rest of her family watching. I know she was glad I went, and so was I.
Today I had an errand of love to perform for Julia. I was blessed to be able to perform it, and I really feel the need to write about it now. First I need to tell a little bit about Julia’s family. She was the first born of two children. She had a younger brother Cliff who died of tragic circumstances when Jennifer was in the 9th grade. Her mother and dad were great people, but they both had early deaths also. Julia’s dad got encephalitis on a fishing trip, and died when he was 54. Julia’s mother had pancreatic cancer, and died eleven years ago, in her mid 60’s. So Julia didn’t have very many living relatives. In fact, she sort of adopted my family as her own. My dad thought of her as one of “his” girls. Anyway, Julia has one favorite aunt that she is close to. She is the only one that we have seen consistently since her mother died. They would keep in touch on the phone, or we would visit with them a couple of times a year. Clarisse and Ralph were the closest living family that Julia had. We had even invited them up to our family Christmas a couple of times, but they weren’t able to come. Clarisse has two children. Last October one of them got married again, and we went to the wedding and were able to spend a good deal of time with them. We knew that Ralph had been very sick, and were able to pray for them both. I’m so glad we were there because that was the last time they saw Julia, and the last time I saw Ralph. He went into the hospital right after Christmas for some surgery and never came out. He passed away last Sunday.
So today I drove to McDonough Ga to attend his memorial service. The visitation was at 12, and the service was at 1PM. Since I have to work at the airport at 6, there was no time to drive home. That’s why I am at Starbucks. I never knew Ralph that well. We were never really that close. But I did know this. He was a very kind and gentle man. I would have probably liked him very much had circumstances been different. We always lived on opposite sides of Atlanta, and our visits were few and far between. Julia and Clarisse were close because they talked a lot on the phone, and had grown up knowing each other, but I was never really that close to either one. So my trip down today was for them and for Julia. I know that we would be going if she were here, and I wanted to honor them.
As I sat in the service I had really a lot of time to think and reflect. As they were talking about Ralph, I found myself thinking about Julia. They had a little program. On the inside was the 23rd psalm. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. I was thinking of how much He has carried me this past two months, and how He has kept me. Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thy rod and staff they comfort me. I have walked in this valley for two months now. I really had no idea what to expect. I still don’t. But this I do know: He is comforting me, and I am learning a lot. It’s hard to quantify things right now. It’s just that there is a peace and calmness in my spirit that is so strong.. I’ve had peace before, but now I feel that peace radiating from me. There is also a strange calmness about me. It’s like I don’t care what happens. But that’s not it at all. I do care what happens, now more than ever. I think it is just that I know whatever happens, He is enough.
While I was eating a late lunch / early dinner I started reading my book of the month for BSSM. It is Hedi Baker’s book “Always Enough”. Have you ever started reading a book, and before you even get started you realize that this book could change your life? Well that’s the way I felt the minute I started reading it. There are things on my horizon. Things that I can’t see clearly now, but I know that I will in time. This book has something to do with them. I plan on reading it on the plane to Nicaragua this weekend. My pray for myself is that I would not only help bring change there, but that Holy Spirit would change in me whatever needs to be changed.
Now back to the service. They had been married 55 years. I know that she must be hurting, Julia and I had only been married 381/2 years. My heart went out to her and the children. It was a good service, very honoring to a kind and gentle man who loved God with all his heart. I could almost see Julia, Ralph and the rest of her family watching. I know she was glad I went, and so was I.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Day 52 - Fear of Faith?
Bill Johnson has said that at any given time, he is within five minutes of being depressed if he would allow himself o go there. I can certainly understand why he would say that. I know that in my situation it is truer now in my life than ever before. If you listen to any news during the day, or even the weather, it is all fear based. Take last night as an example. All night they were saying how bad the roads were going to be in the morning. “All that snow and slush is going to freeze, and make the roads treacherous.” “Stay inside, don’t drive, schools are cancelled…” It goes on and on. That’s just the weather. Then they get started on the news. It’s a wonder we all don’t crawl in a whole and wait for the rapture. (If you believe that there will be one.) Most of the church operates in a bunker mentality. “We must protect ourselves from all the sin and bad stuff out there” We wind up on the defensive, trying to hold on to what we have, rather than taking the offensive and advancing the Kingdom of God.
We as believers have to stop filling ourselves with all the negativity. I used to watch a lot of news, and listen to a lot more. But for me right now, the Holy Spirit has limited me on how much news I can watch. I really don’t get involved in politics like I used to. I don’t think it’s wrong, but when I do that I wind up seeing all the negative, and lose heart as to what God wants to do. What we behold is what we become. I think it’s funny that Holy Spirit has convicted me of this, yet I can go see almost any movie. Interesting isn’t it, fear kills faith and the news papers, television stations and even the weather stations feed off our fears. We are afraid of the republicans, or we are afraid of the democrats. We really need to be spending the time we spend worrying about what’s going to happen worshiping and crying out to God, letting Him show us what He wants to happen. We would have a lot less fear, and a lot more faith. I think Julia began to help me see this over the last year. Does this mean I don’t have political views, or passions about things? No, I’m very passionate, but my focus is no longer on what is wrong, or what is about to be wrong. I try to put my focus now on bring forth change in my sphere of influence. I can be more effective in intercession buy praying the solution than by praying against problems.
One of the things about getting older, notice I didn’t say old, is that you begin to see your life differently. It’s no longer just about me, me, me. Sure you still want to do things, to accomplish dreams. But you see more of your life as an investment of time, an investment of your time into others. These others are your children and grandchildren to be sure. But there are many more. These become spiritual children. They may be older or younger than you, but they become part of your inheritance. This has become more real to me in the last two months. I see Julia and parts of her in so many people. I see myself in many also. Julia caught on to this mentoring thing before I did. I still wanted to press into the deep alone. Then one day we realized it would be much more rewarding to take others along. I didn’t realize how much this had become a part of who we are until Julia was gone. Now I look around and I see her everywhere. I had dinner with a young couple that we have been hanging out with for the past year. They are neat, and we love to spend time with them. As I looked at the wife tonight, I could almost see Julia in her. It was so strong. Her strength, and discernment., even her mannerisms reminded me of Julia. We always think it’s about us. Have you ever thought how many people your life touches? It’s amazing. So how you act and react, how you think, how you worship, how you pray. They all have an impact that you don’t realize, our faith matters. We all have an impact on others, and sometimes our greatest impact will not be realized until we are gone. You see, in the spirit, Julia is still very present. I see her everywhere in many different people.
So probably the best things we do are sometimes what we think are the least. Love people an be willing to pour your life into them. That’s what Julia did, and with renewed vigor, that is what I am doing. The world needs spiritual mothers and fathers. You don’t have to be old to be one, you just have to have a passionate love for God, and want to show His goodness to others.
We as believers have to stop filling ourselves with all the negativity. I used to watch a lot of news, and listen to a lot more. But for me right now, the Holy Spirit has limited me on how much news I can watch. I really don’t get involved in politics like I used to. I don’t think it’s wrong, but when I do that I wind up seeing all the negative, and lose heart as to what God wants to do. What we behold is what we become. I think it’s funny that Holy Spirit has convicted me of this, yet I can go see almost any movie. Interesting isn’t it, fear kills faith and the news papers, television stations and even the weather stations feed off our fears. We are afraid of the republicans, or we are afraid of the democrats. We really need to be spending the time we spend worrying about what’s going to happen worshiping and crying out to God, letting Him show us what He wants to happen. We would have a lot less fear, and a lot more faith. I think Julia began to help me see this over the last year. Does this mean I don’t have political views, or passions about things? No, I’m very passionate, but my focus is no longer on what is wrong, or what is about to be wrong. I try to put my focus now on bring forth change in my sphere of influence. I can be more effective in intercession buy praying the solution than by praying against problems.
One of the things about getting older, notice I didn’t say old, is that you begin to see your life differently. It’s no longer just about me, me, me. Sure you still want to do things, to accomplish dreams. But you see more of your life as an investment of time, an investment of your time into others. These others are your children and grandchildren to be sure. But there are many more. These become spiritual children. They may be older or younger than you, but they become part of your inheritance. This has become more real to me in the last two months. I see Julia and parts of her in so many people. I see myself in many also. Julia caught on to this mentoring thing before I did. I still wanted to press into the deep alone. Then one day we realized it would be much more rewarding to take others along. I didn’t realize how much this had become a part of who we are until Julia was gone. Now I look around and I see her everywhere. I had dinner with a young couple that we have been hanging out with for the past year. They are neat, and we love to spend time with them. As I looked at the wife tonight, I could almost see Julia in her. It was so strong. Her strength, and discernment., even her mannerisms reminded me of Julia. We always think it’s about us. Have you ever thought how many people your life touches? It’s amazing. So how you act and react, how you think, how you worship, how you pray. They all have an impact that you don’t realize, our faith matters. We all have an impact on others, and sometimes our greatest impact will not be realized until we are gone. You see, in the spirit, Julia is still very present. I see her everywhere in many different people.
So probably the best things we do are sometimes what we think are the least. Love people an be willing to pour your life into them. That’s what Julia did, and with renewed vigor, that is what I am doing. The world needs spiritual mothers and fathers. You don’t have to be old to be one, you just have to have a passionate love for God, and want to show His goodness to others.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Day 51 - Snow Again??
Today was a better day. Work was good, and I got out around 10:30. I walked out to see snow. I don’t know when I have ever been so tired of winter. I always loved snow before. But this winter has been too much. Maybe it’s because I have to e back down at the airport again tomorrow morning at 5AM. Maybe it’s because I know I have to probably leave early before the roads start to freeze. But I don’t think so. I think it’s because it was snowing and the roads were bad the night I took Julia to the emergency room. Yes, that’s it, there were too many bad memories that go around with snow right now. When I see snow it doesn’t give me good memories right now. Maybe it will in the future, but not right now. So here we are with more snow, and another time to fight the icy roads in the morning. So now that I realize why I don’t like the snow, I can deal with it. The hard part is not knowing why your emotions feel the way they feel. So all the emotions of that last night at home come rushing into my mind. They are still too painful to write about. I’m sure that I will some day, but today is not that day.
So, I need to go to bed soon. It looks like the roads will start freezing between 3AM and 4AM. If I can get to 41, I know that I will be fine, so I will probably get up around 2. Once I get toward the airport, I’ll probably stop at a Waffle House and have some breakfast. I’m sure that I will take a nap tomorrow afternoon.
Well to take my mind off the snow, all I have to do is think about my trip next week to Nicaragua. The temperature there will be in the 90’s. Wearing short sleeve shirts, and walking around in hot weather, I can’t wait. I need to spend some time preparing something to speak. In reality I already have probably three talks. They all say the same thing only differently. They all focus on the goodness of God, and the heart of the Father. You see, no mater where you go, people need fathers. We all do. It is a timeless message, to share the love of God, the goodness of God, the Good news, and the gospel. So that’s what we are taking with us. We will all share it in many ways. Some times we will speak of it, but most often we will demonstrate it. We will bring the Kingdom of God, the goodness of God to all that we come in contact with. Why is it that we do this intentionally on a mission trip? Yet at home, we walk around all day, and don’t think about releasing His glory. This is where I have to change. This is where I have to cultivate a lifestyle of seeing the Kingdom of God released daily. I admit, I am not there yet., but I want to be. So my prayer for others and myself is that we will radically remember to release His Kingdom whenever we can, every day. It starts with just trying to pray for one person a day. I have tried with mixed success to do that this week. I will continue next week, and the next until I get it. It take at least 6 weeks for a new routine to become a habit. So I want to continue until it becomes a habit, a change in lifestyle.
Well I’m going to close out tonight, and get a little sleep. I know that I will have sweet dreams.
So, I need to go to bed soon. It looks like the roads will start freezing between 3AM and 4AM. If I can get to 41, I know that I will be fine, so I will probably get up around 2. Once I get toward the airport, I’ll probably stop at a Waffle House and have some breakfast. I’m sure that I will take a nap tomorrow afternoon.
Well to take my mind off the snow, all I have to do is think about my trip next week to Nicaragua. The temperature there will be in the 90’s. Wearing short sleeve shirts, and walking around in hot weather, I can’t wait. I need to spend some time preparing something to speak. In reality I already have probably three talks. They all say the same thing only differently. They all focus on the goodness of God, and the heart of the Father. You see, no mater where you go, people need fathers. We all do. It is a timeless message, to share the love of God, the goodness of God, the Good news, and the gospel. So that’s what we are taking with us. We will all share it in many ways. Some times we will speak of it, but most often we will demonstrate it. We will bring the Kingdom of God, the goodness of God to all that we come in contact with. Why is it that we do this intentionally on a mission trip? Yet at home, we walk around all day, and don’t think about releasing His glory. This is where I have to change. This is where I have to cultivate a lifestyle of seeing the Kingdom of God released daily. I admit, I am not there yet., but I want to be. So my prayer for others and myself is that we will radically remember to release His Kingdom whenever we can, every day. It starts with just trying to pray for one person a day. I have tried with mixed success to do that this week. I will continue next week, and the next until I get it. It take at least 6 weeks for a new routine to become a habit. So I want to continue until it becomes a habit, a change in lifestyle.
Well I’m going to close out tonight, and get a little sleep. I know that I will have sweet dreams.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Day 50 - Soaring above the Storms
Over all it was a good day today. I was able to get all my homework for BSSM done this morning, and I was able to run outside. The weather was good for outreach, and worship was awesome tonight. So if I just give you the highlights, then it sounds like a very good day. For the most part it was. But when I started this blog, I said that I was going to try and be as transparent as I could be, so if I go past the highlights, then there were some rough patches.
Part of my prophetic art homework is to do a drawing of what God is doing in me this year while I am at school. We are supposed to take at least an hour to draw it. Not the three-minute drawings we have been doing. That’s too bad, because my lack of artistic talent probably leans more to three – minute drawings. Anyway, I was just thinking this morning, seeking god about what He has been doing in my life, and how best to try and draw it. He took me to the verse Isaiah 40:31. Hw told me how he was drawing me close, and that I have to put my hope in Him, and how He will take me up on wings like eagles. I will run and not grow weary, walk and not faint. I saw in my minds eye the picture I was to try to draw. It is a picture of an eagle soaring high above the strong storms, in the clear with the sun shining on it. I know enough about thunderstorms to know that the stronger the storm, the more dangerous it is, but also the stronger the updrafts. The stronger the updrafts, the higher you can soar if you catch them just right. But if you miss them, the downdrafts are right beside them, just as strong to take you crashing down to earth.
As I sketched out the picture, my mind went to the storm I was riding. The death of a spouse is probably the strongest storm one can ride out. As I thought about that, I lost it. All of a sudden, the tears came, and the pain was unbearable. I didn’t try to hold back, I just rode with the down draft for a little while, crying out loud, and at the same time pressing through in my mind, trying to refocus on God and His goodness. It’s the goodness of God that creates the updrafts that allow us to soar above the storms. So even as I was crying, I was thanking Him for His love and compassion. I truly believe this focus shortens the periods of intense grief. I don’t want to stop the cycle of grief, but I do want to shorten the cycle. I don’t want to ride the downdraft down deep into the storm. That is dangerous. In the natural, flying into a big storm is one of the most dangerous things you can do. I believe it is the same in the spirit.
So by thinking of God’s goodness even as I was grieving for Julia I was able to fly through the downdraft, and be caught up by an updraft. The updraft took me back up into the calmness of the heavens above the storm. This is where we need to learn to live. But as I said, the updrafts and the downdrafts are side by side. That’s good, because if you keep pressing in during the downdraft, pretty soon you will hit the updraft.
Tonight Bill Johnson talked about abiding faith. He said that if you set your heart to live in a certain way, you change the atmosphere when you enter the room. When your attitude is to anticipate what God is doing, you are living in abiding faith. That attitude for me is focusing on the goodness of God. I have an abiding faith in His goodness in every situation. It is what allows me to soar into the heavens above the storms of life. I can’t imagine where I would be tonight if I didn’t have this abiding faith as a lifestyle.
Many people blame God. They think He caused their situation. Our religious system has nurtured this belief to justify its lack of faith and power. But by blaming God, they are cutting off the One who can rescue them. They are staying out of the updrafts of the Spirit, and staying in the middle of the storm where there can be no joy, only hurt and anger. I am so thankful to God that He taught me this before I was in this storm. I don’t think I could survive riding down in the middle.
I know that he is causing me to ride on wings like eagles, to run and not grow weary, to walk and not faint. He has also given me a golden key. It’s a key that will unlock the door to my destiny. I have to fight a fight that I didn’t want, and wasn’t looking for. But that’s OK because He will provide me with all the gifts and weapons I need to have victory. I know that my victory will bring freedom to many others. So bring it on.
Well that’s it for tonight. 3AM comes early, and I need a little sleep.
Part of my prophetic art homework is to do a drawing of what God is doing in me this year while I am at school. We are supposed to take at least an hour to draw it. Not the three-minute drawings we have been doing. That’s too bad, because my lack of artistic talent probably leans more to three – minute drawings. Anyway, I was just thinking this morning, seeking god about what He has been doing in my life, and how best to try and draw it. He took me to the verse Isaiah 40:31. Hw told me how he was drawing me close, and that I have to put my hope in Him, and how He will take me up on wings like eagles. I will run and not grow weary, walk and not faint. I saw in my minds eye the picture I was to try to draw. It is a picture of an eagle soaring high above the strong storms, in the clear with the sun shining on it. I know enough about thunderstorms to know that the stronger the storm, the more dangerous it is, but also the stronger the updrafts. The stronger the updrafts, the higher you can soar if you catch them just right. But if you miss them, the downdrafts are right beside them, just as strong to take you crashing down to earth.
As I sketched out the picture, my mind went to the storm I was riding. The death of a spouse is probably the strongest storm one can ride out. As I thought about that, I lost it. All of a sudden, the tears came, and the pain was unbearable. I didn’t try to hold back, I just rode with the down draft for a little while, crying out loud, and at the same time pressing through in my mind, trying to refocus on God and His goodness. It’s the goodness of God that creates the updrafts that allow us to soar above the storms. So even as I was crying, I was thanking Him for His love and compassion. I truly believe this focus shortens the periods of intense grief. I don’t want to stop the cycle of grief, but I do want to shorten the cycle. I don’t want to ride the downdraft down deep into the storm. That is dangerous. In the natural, flying into a big storm is one of the most dangerous things you can do. I believe it is the same in the spirit.
So by thinking of God’s goodness even as I was grieving for Julia I was able to fly through the downdraft, and be caught up by an updraft. The updraft took me back up into the calmness of the heavens above the storm. This is where we need to learn to live. But as I said, the updrafts and the downdrafts are side by side. That’s good, because if you keep pressing in during the downdraft, pretty soon you will hit the updraft.
Tonight Bill Johnson talked about abiding faith. He said that if you set your heart to live in a certain way, you change the atmosphere when you enter the room. When your attitude is to anticipate what God is doing, you are living in abiding faith. That attitude for me is focusing on the goodness of God. I have an abiding faith in His goodness in every situation. It is what allows me to soar into the heavens above the storms of life. I can’t imagine where I would be tonight if I didn’t have this abiding faith as a lifestyle.
Many people blame God. They think He caused their situation. Our religious system has nurtured this belief to justify its lack of faith and power. But by blaming God, they are cutting off the One who can rescue them. They are staying out of the updrafts of the Spirit, and staying in the middle of the storm where there can be no joy, only hurt and anger. I am so thankful to God that He taught me this before I was in this storm. I don’t think I could survive riding down in the middle.
I know that he is causing me to ride on wings like eagles, to run and not grow weary, to walk and not faint. He has also given me a golden key. It’s a key that will unlock the door to my destiny. I have to fight a fight that I didn’t want, and wasn’t looking for. But that’s OK because He will provide me with all the gifts and weapons I need to have victory. I know that my victory will bring freedom to many others. So bring it on.
Well that’s it for tonight. 3AM comes early, and I need a little sleep.
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